everwas

The week that was (12/15/2017)

A mummy of a “senior official” from 3,500 years ago was uncovered in Egypt. Wonder if they buried him with his paperwork.

Scientists at the Arctic University of Norway found a shark swimming in the North Atlantic estimated to be over 512-years old. What happened in 1505? Martin Luther had yet to present his 95 thesis that kicked off the Reformation.

Every material scientist’s favorite wonder compound, graphene, will be used to make the first running and fitness shoe. 200 times stronger than steel, the one-atom thick material will, “deliver a combination of traction, stretch and durability never seen before in sports footwear. 2018 will be the year of the world’s toughest grip.”

inov-8 graphene shoes due out in 2018

When tone-deaf Silicon Valley faced a shortage of women at their year-end parties, they hired models to stand in and balance the mix. Los Angeles, facing a shortage of hardcore football fans for the LA Rams, put out a casting call for  stand-in fans.

“One whiff and you’re stiff” says a local who lives in Ireland, near the factory that makes the drug Viagra and claims the fumes from the plant give him a unique contract high.

In Tokyo, the police are tracking down a monkey who has eluded capture since mid-October and has now made its way North from Yokohama into Tokyo.

In Hamden, Connecticut police are asking for the public’s help in solving an armed robbery of a bag of cheeseburgers.

To prevent injury, Marks and Spencer in the UK has developed an avocado with softer skin and no pit.

A UN official who tours the globe investigating extreme poverty said that areas of Alabama are suffering the most dire sewage disposal crisis of any place he has visited in a developed country. This week they at least got rid of some of it.

An anonymous person dropped a single gold Krugerrand worth about $1,200 in a Salvation Army kettle in South Carolina.

A Japanese company has developed a drone that will hover over worker’s desks when it’s time to go home to prevent them from overworking. The drone will play Auld Lang Syne but I think the annoying buzz is what will really do the trick.

Meanwhile, the SF branch of the SPCA had second thoughts about it’s use of autonomous security robots to suffle away homeless from its downtown campus and parking lot.

France’s education minister has announced that cell phone will be banned from school describing the government’s decision as a matter of “public health.”

A longtime SoMa communal gathering spot, San Francisco’s cafe-laundry institution Brainwash has closed permanently. Meanwhile, another SF institution, the Elbo Room in the Mission is testing new waters with an East Bay branch in Oakland.

A 54-year old man in Ireland came up with the best reason for skipping jury duty, and it was granted, “Then you GO and you GO with my blessing.”