The week that was (Friday the 13th)

The curious, wobbling stagger and irregular flight pattern of seagulls on the coast of England has been attributed to their consumption of the alcohol left in cans discarded on the beach.

Lonnie Perry rented the movie “Ted” in 2014 then he became homeless. He now is facing jail time because of an overdue rental bill.

Blockbuster Video closed its last two stores in Alaska leaving a one final store of the forgotten age, in Bend, Oregon.

A Canadian man placed a 6-year-old McDonald’s hamburger and fries up for auction on eBay. The auction reached $150 before being shut down for violating eBay’s food policy.

We learned that President Trump’s 2020 re-election campaign slogan is the same one as that of a horror movie coming out this summer.

Joe Trillo, a candidate for governor of Rhode Island, started his Sunday sailing his 65-foot motorboat, Lady M, 200 yards from some of Rhode Island’s largest beaches while blasting John Philip Sousa marching songs and flying a giant campaign sign. He finished his Sunday getting rescued by the Coast Guard after his yacht hit a rock and took on water.

A US cargo ship that was steaming full throttle towards China, hoping to deliver its cargo of soybeans before the 25% bump in trade tariffs, didn’t make it.

Honda released a lawnmower that can go 150 miles per hour.

Photo credit: Reddit User: 4chanAD

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The week that was (07-06-2018)

One of France’s most notorious criminals escaped from prison again. This time, on a hijacked helicopter.

“We’re not sure how many there were – there’s not much left of them,” said Sibuya reserve owner Nick Fox about the suspected rhino poachers that were mauled and eaten by lions on the South African game reserve.

A Pennsylvania man finally got around to paying a parking ticket, 44-years later.

An octopus that correctly predicted the outcome of each of Japan’s three World Cup soccer wins was chopped up and sold for food before Japan’s match with Belgium. Japan lost that match and was bumped from the World Cup.

The Japanese fans picked up after themselves as they have been known to do but a FIFA official discovered that the team also left their locker room immaculate earning respect and admiration from everyone.

England made it through to the Round of Eight but apparently England is running out of beer.

Guinness will open its first brewery in the US in more than 60 years, in Baltimore.

The FDA approved the first drug derived from cannabis as a treatment for epilepsy. Rite Aid promptly announced that they will sell Epidiolex when available.

Orange ecstasy pills shaped with the likeness of the US president and stamped with the words “Great Again” have surfaced in Indiana.

“They made me promise I would never do it again, and then sent me on my way with two watermelons,” said a rural Japanese gangster who was caught by local farmers trying to steal their produce. Financially troubled yakuza have been reduced to stealing watermelons and selling branded ashtrays.

A Norwegian Cruise Line crew member who went overboard near Cuba was fished out of the ocean, 22 hours later, by a Carnival Cruise Line ship.

Farmers in South Dakota are looking for their five-ton tractor when it went missing after a powerful tornado swept through their neighborhood.

It was reported that Germany’s combined wind, solar, biomass and hydroelectric power output produced enough renewable energy in the first half of 2018 to power every household in the country for an entire year.

Polish scientists were surprised to receive a monster phone bill when the SIM chip from a GPS tracker they put onto a migratory stork went missing racked up 20 hours’ worth of phone calls.

In the clearest sign yet that Trump is trolling the establishment, his administration put forth the United States Fair and Reciprocal Tariff Act, otherwise known as the US FART act.

Photo credit: Reddit user jcbjstc

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The week that was (06-29-2018)

Trump’s trade war backfired spectacularly when Harley-Davidson announced that it was moving production overseas to avoid crippling tariffs levied by the EU in retaliation.

Shawn Mendes, Bryan Adams, Foo Fighters and the Dave Matthews Band were facing delays because a protected bird built a nest and laid her eggs on the exact spot where construction of the main stage for the Ottawa Bluesfest was due to begin. Two days later, after a special permit from the Canada’s environmental authorities, they were able to move the nest and begin construction.

The NFL’s sole medical degree-holder was denied a request to put “M.D.” after his name on the back of his Kansas City Chiefs jersey.

Hundreds of Iranian soccer fans spent several overnight hours surrounding the hotel where Portugal’s national team was staying. They spent the night making loud noises in an attempt to disrupt their opponents’ sleep before a decisive match.

Masafumi Nagasaki, a hermit who retreated from the Japanese mainland to an isolated island near Taiwan, has been asked to return to civilization to look after his health. Nagasaki-san had been living there since 1989 and spent his days cleaning the beach of his island with a rake while wearing white gloves (and little else).

The first hamburger-making robot opened for business in San Francisco while the robot barista is moving on to version 2.0.

West Japan Railway started regular service between Osaka and Fukuoka on its Hello Kitty bullet train.

“Of course, we chose the cheaper foam agent. That’s how we survived,” said a worker at a Chinese refrigerator factory that was found to be the source of dangerous CFC-11 plume which mysteriously turned up in the atmosphere, threatening the earth’s ozone layer. “They never told us until last year that it was damaging the atmosphere. Nobody came to check what we were using, so we thought it was O.K.” Read the full investigative report by the New York Times who tracked the source of the leak to a single town in China.

Meanwhile, in Alberta, we bring you this“magnificently, almost suspiciously well-edited surveillance footage” of a convenience story robbery gone horribly wrong.

Photo credit: Reddit user Raqped

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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez campaign ad

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez shocked everyone last night with her huge upset the in New York’s 14th congressional district primary. The 28-year-old newcomer unseated Democrat Joe Crowley, a 10-term incumbent and one of the more powerful old guards of the party. Not only that, headlines screamed, she was a socialist.

She was outspent 18-to-1 and Congressman Crowley didn’t even bother to show up to two of the debates. By giving her something to push against, her supporters found purpose and Alexandria brought them along for the ride.

Here campaign video is powerful and gives me hope because it lays out a vision which is one that has been missing. She speaks to her voters because she is one of them in a way that the establishment is not.

We’ve all seen the “my story” candidate ads (some of which are powerful and mold-breaking). But there was something decidedly different, intoxicatingly defiant but also accessible in this film. The aforementioned, fleeting hallmarks of empathy and authenticity are everywhere in this work. For all the talk of storytelling, the little more than two minutes in the film is a master class in compacting passion, honesty and, yes, empathy and authenticity into a compelling package. Ocasio-Cortez isn’t merely telling her story; she’s telling everyone’s story in the district.

One could very easily deconstruct the tight copy, the beautiful film craft, the pacing leading to an anthemic crescendo, the excellent structure. Yes, there are the trappings of political ads, but what makes this ad special is that there isn’t a full-service ad agency behind it. Ocasio-Cortez wrote it, and she relied on volunteers to coordinate the shoot and real people, including the candidate’s campaign workers, are present throughout.

AdWeek

Border Wall

My twitter feed blew up last weekend. I had to turn off notifications and, even now, four days later, the number of retweets, likes, and responses are still coming in above the usual trickle. I clearly touched a nerve.

The original story is really quite amazing and has to be read to be believed.

Responses ranged from outrage from people that have been to the border fighting with people that were incredulous there was no kind of fence or marking of the Canada/US border. . .

. . . to those that felt the runner was the victim of selective enforcement because of the color of her skin. There were a surprising number of doubters and others who thought the whole story was made up fake news. Several people misread my tweet and dismissed the whole thing as bogus because,  “No one could jog all the way to Canada from France!”

The best replies came from those that pointed out that back in 2016 when 1,500 partying inner-tubers were blown off-course into Canadian waters our Northern neighbors scooped up the cold, wet, and tired into 19 buses to bring them back over the border. On top of that, “Sarnia city spokeswoman Katarina Ovens said workers spent several hours cleaning up after the invasion, picking up beer cans, coolers and even picnic tables that had washed up on the shore.”

I miss those innocent times before “zero tolerance”

The week that was (06-22-2018)

The agency that monitors seismic activity in Mexico said an “artificial quake” was registered in Mexico City, possibly caused by “massive jumps during the goal from the Mexico national soccer team.”

One of the oldest and biggest names in cannabis, High Times, announced that it is officially going public on the NASDAQ.

Multiple people in Michigan received, unprompted, an audio CD of a man telling a story. People were suspicious.

To prevent high school students from cheating on their final exams, the entire nation of Algeria cut off access its access to the internet.

Electricity providers used to have to spend valuable time on bucket trucks to clear debris such as kites, sheets, or parachutes from their power lines. Now they have a high-tech, lightweight (and pretty bad-ass) solution. Flame-thrower drones.

Phillie Phanatic is one of the more annoying team mascots. Especially so to Kathy McVay who was nailed in the face by a duct-tapped hot dog projectile fired from the Phanatic’s hot dog launcher.

Archaeologists began work on digging up the 1969 Woodstock festival site.

Harley-Davidson is selling bicycles. More specifically, a $4200 replica of their 1917 model they built when the company first started.

A jogger, visiting Canada from France, accidentally crossed the border, was apprehended by US Border Patrol, put into the back of a caged vehicle and driven 200 kms away to a DHS processing facility which took two weeks to clear her.

The Pokémon Go game added trading.

Photo credit: reddit user wetbathtub

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The week that was (06-15-2018)

A New York apple orchard was the first to have it’s trees pollinated by unmanned drones.

A shopping mall in China set aside walking lanes for people glued to their phones to keep them from bumping into other shoppers.

Bloomberg writes about a new breed of real estate agents selling virtual plots in Genesis City, a blockchain-based virtual world. Lots go for as much as $200,000, giving birth to a mortgage industry to finance these purchases.

A town in South Wales celebrated going “plastic-free” with a huge banner, made out of plastic.

The group Menage Life failed to break the world record for “the largest orgy in human history” when they couldn’t get enough people to show up.

A raccoon climbing up the outside walls of the UBS Plaza tower in downtown St. Paul, Minnesota was the lead story for most of Tuesday.

While designs for the US/Mexico border wall are still being decided, Australia has just completed installation of the world’s longest cat-proof fence.

Palmer Luckey, the founder of VR firm Oculus and pro-Trump supporter, is working on a virtual border-wall company.

Jamie Dupree, a radio newsman, went back on the air after losing his voice to illness two years ago. He now types into a text-to-speech application that uses years of his archived audio to create his new voice.

A Japanese woman was shocked when her husband, who the family cremated and buried, showed up on her doorstep almost a year later. “The incident is extremely regrettable. We’re determined to prevent a recurrence,” said the Tokyo Metropolitan Police in a statement.

Photo credit: Reuters/Jonathan Ernst

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