The week that was (03-16-2018)

We lost a great mind this week. In all the stories of Stephen Hawking’s life, my favorite was the detail that he used to run his wheelchair over the toes of people he didn’t like.

Mining cryptocurrency generates a lot of heat in the computers that are doing the computations. One French company decided to take advantage of the excess heat and sell them as “plug-and-mine” heaters.

A plane in Russia had a bumpy talkoff, lost it’s rear door and proceeded to dump $368 million in gold bars and diamonds all over the runway and 16 miles of desolate countryside Siberia.

Canada announced that they have hired their first female head of the mounties. Brenda Lucki, will take over as commissioner of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police in mid-April.

Those people that steal your delivered boxes off your front doorstep? They have a name now, they’re called “porch pirates.”

Walmart filed a patent for robotic bees.

A giant, yellow, inflatable rubber duck escaped from western coast of Australia.

Google Japan released Google Street View from a dog’s perspective. This follows up a 2015 project when they released Google Street View in Hiroshima from at cat’s perspective.

Japan’s Sanrio announced that a Hello Kitty bullet train will start operating this Summer on the Osaka-Fukuoka route. This will join ANA’s Pokemon Jet which has it’s own website lovingly laid out in Comic Sans.

A hippo was discovered living in a pond in Southern Mexico. No one knows how it got there but the residents of the town have come to love the animal so much they have nicknamed it “Tyson.”

The Swindles were moving from Oregon to Kansas and took a United flight with their 10-year-old German shepherd Irgo in the hold. When they went to pick up their dog in Kansas City, a Great Dane was there instead. United mixed up the two and sent Irgo on a 16-hour flight to Japan. Apparently United has a pretty poor record for pet transportation.

The New Zealand post has a much better record. They successfully delivered a package addressed to, “Kay and Philip, on a farm, situated up a long drive with cows, opposite Cust pub or thereabouts”

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The week that was (03-09-2018)

The big storm that hit the East Coast brought down a 227-year old tree planted by George Washington.

The Florida state Senate can’t seem to agree on banning assault weapons but it took them less than a minute to pass the Sunshine Protection Act which bans Daylight Saving Time in the state of Florida.

Colorado state law permits lawmakers to carry concealed weapons into the state Capitol because it’s their place of business. In fear for their safety, two lawmakers now wear bulletproof vests to work.

A restaurant in Pasadena has turned over burger flipping duties to a $60,000 robot.

The Vatican announced that it’s hosting a hackathon.

A toddler in China managed to lock his mom’s iPhone after numerous failed attempts to guess the PIN. Thanks to a feature which increases the lockup period after each unsuccessful attempt, the phone will remain locked for the next 47 years.

The world’s oldest known message in a bottle was found half-buried on a West Australian beach nearly 132 years after it was into the Indian Ocean.

The Utah State Bar has opened an internal investigation to figure out how a photo of a topless woman was included in an email sent to all state lawyers.

Costco is selling a $6,000 “doomsday-prepper” food kit that can feed a family of 4 for a year.

Goodyear unveiled a eco-friendly tire concept at the Geneva Motor Show that features moss that inhales carbon dioxide from the air and converts it into oxygen.

As part of a settlement with the US Government, Martin Shkreli turned over the only known copy of Wu-Tang Clan’s album “Once Upon a Time in Shaolin” (which he bought for $2 million). No word on what the feds will do with it but he’s not going to take it to jail.

A suspected drunk driver fleeing police jumped out of his car to make a fast getaway but his car thought better of it and ran him over.

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The week that was (03-02-2018)

Multiple businesses discontinued special discounts for members of the NRA. Companies included several rental car companies, Delta and United Airlines, and Walmart.

The World Peace and Unification Sanctuary (yes, that one) in Pennsylvania churchgoers brought their AR-15s to a wedding ceremony.

“Excessive flatulence” led to an emergency landing this week for a flight in Europe. The Dubai-Amsterdam flight was diverted to Vienna after a fight broke out.

An Apple repair center outside of Sacramento has been warned after devices from that location were found to be excessively calling 9-1-1; over 1600 times.

Barbara Streisand revealed that her two puppies, Miss Violet and Miss Scarlett, are actually clones of her previous dog, Samantha, that died last year.

Traffic was held up in Moreno Valley, California by three men who set up a full-sized trampoline session.

Nineteen dealers in Kenya were arrested for defying the recently imposed ban on plastic bags. The raid targeted individuals hoarding the plastic bags and selling them late at night.

In Japan a tomato grower was arrested for stealing 160 Chinese cabbages from a nearby field.

A computer algorithm trained to spot errors in legal contracts beat a team of twenty lawyers in a competition to spot errors in five non-disclosure agreements (NDAs).

The Financial Services Information Sharing and Analysis Center, an industry organization responsible for sharing data about cybersecurity and phishing attacks, was hacked by a phishing attack.

Hanwha Systems in Korea announced that they are working on a new weapons system that would use artificial intelligence to “search for and eliminate targets without human control.” Why I think this is a very bad idea.

Vancouver police are asking for “volunteer drinkers” to get drunk on the police department’s dime. They need subjects to train their new recruits on how to conduct a sobriety test.

A boy in China was plunged into darkness and trapped in an elevator after pissing all over the buttons.

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