The week that was (06-15-2018)

A New York apple orchard was the first to have it’s trees pollinated by unmanned drones.

A shopping mall in China set aside walking lanes for people glued to their phones to keep them from bumping into other shoppers.

Bloomberg writes about a new breed of real estate agents selling virtual plots in Genesis City, a blockchain-based virtual world. Lots go for as much as $200,000, giving birth to a mortgage industry to finance these purchases.

A town in South Wales celebrated going “plastic-free” with a huge banner, made out of plastic.

The group Menage Life failed to break the world record for “the largest orgy in human history” when they couldn’t get enough people to show up.

A raccoon climbing up the outside walls of the UBS Plaza tower in downtown St. Paul, Minnesota was the lead story for most of Tuesday.

While designs for the US/Mexico border wall are still being decided, Australia has just completed installation of the world’s longest cat-proof fence.

Palmer Luckey, the founder of VR firm Oculus and pro-Trump supporter, is working on a virtual border-wall company.

Jamie Dupree, a radio newsman, went back on the air after losing his voice to illness two years ago. He now types into a text-to-speech application that uses years of his archived audio to create his new voice.

A Japanese woman was shocked when her husband, who the family cremated and buried, showed up on her doorstep almost a year later. “The incident is extremely regrettable. We’re determined to prevent a recurrence,” said the Tokyo Metropolitan Police in a statement.

Photo credit: Reuters/Jonathan Ernst

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The week that was (06-08-2018)

Researchers recommended that humming the Spanish dance song Macarena while performing CPR will help keep you on rhythm.

Renovators discovered secret diary written by a worker on the underside of the floorboards at a French chateau uncovered a tale of infidelity and infanticide and gave historians a unique record of village life in the 1880s.

A flight from the Netherlands to Gran Canaria in Spain was diverted for an emergency landing due to a single man’s overpowering smell described as, “chemical weapons-grade stench.”

All flights out of Houston’s Hobby airport were delayed after a TSA agent screamed “Shut it down, shut it down, shut it down!” and ordered everyone to clear the area. The culprit, a plastic toy grenade (ed. who makes toy grenades?). This was less than 24 hours after Houston’s other airport, George Bush International, was shut down when an impatient passenger waiting in line to be searched said something about explosives.

The meditation app, Calm, published an audio reading of the European Union’s General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) narrated by former BBC radio announcer Peter Jefferson to help its subscribers drift off to sleep.

The goalkeeper on the Tunisian World Cup team devised a brilliant scheme to give his ramadan-fasting teammates a quick break at sundown so they could load up on figs and water. He fakes injury.

The Miss America pageant announced that it’s getting rid of the swimsuit competition and will no longer judge contestants based on physical appearance.

Sometimes it feels like fashion designers are playing a joke on us. One side of the world were baffled by Balenciaga’s $1300 shirt-on-a-shirt while the other side of the world is puzzled by Gu’s khaki’s with a codpiece.

80 people lined up to be baptized on Sunday morning at Lake Abaya in Ethiopia. While the second baptism was being conducted, a crocodile leapt from the waters and attacked the pastor killing him. No word on what happened to the remaining 77 prospective converts.

An eight-floor “car vending machine” opened for business in Maryland.

A speed-climbing duo set a new record and scaled the sheer granite face of El Capitan in Yosemite in less than two hours. Pleased with their effort, Alex Honnold, one of the climbers texted “Yay!”

Photo credit: Reddit

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Citizen WTF?

The Citizen app is available in NYC and the SF Bay Area. The app is designed to alert you when crime happens nearby with location-based push notifications. But, because the platform is crowdsourced, it exposes all the idiosyncratic definitions of “crime” that you would expect from its voyeuristic users.

Here are some of my favorites. If you have a good one, send it my way and I’ll add it.

We used to have Florida Man stories. Now we have Citizen.

The week that was (06-01-2018)

Arlington National Cemetery, where the US buries its war dead, is running out of room. Already, family members who ask to be buried next to their relatives who have died in the service of their country are being denied and space is being saved by burying relatives in stacks, instead of side by side.

Hormel recalled more than 220,000 pounds of Spam.

A hospital in Scotland is checking in patients who are addicted to checking their cryptocurrency share prices.

It was reported that, “More than 40¢ of every dollar consumers spend on the Internet already goes to Amazon.”

A television evangelist asked his followers for $54 million so he could buy a Dassault Falcon 7X jet (he already has three other private jets). “I really believe that if the Lord Jesus Christ was physically on the Earth today, he wouldn’t be riding a donkey”

The United States Geological Survey reminded everyone that it is not a good idea to roast marshmallows over an open lava pit.

While politics divide us, a 14-year old who set up a twitter account dedicated to getting her favorite band, Weezer, to cover Toto’s Africa brought us together in celebration of her triumph.

A Tesla in autopilot mode crashed into a parked police car in Laguna Beach.

Drought-stricken Cape Town began publishing a map to enable residents to check up on their neighbors’ water usage.

A New Zealand man, frustrated at the lack of attention given to the poor roads in his community found a way to get the city council’s attention. He spray-painted giant, lime green penises around each pothole.

A suspicious package cleared out an area of Atlanta’s busy Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport. Further investigation uncovered the source. A pair of battery-operated vibrating slippers.

Photo credit: Reddit user bgarza18

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