The week that was (Friday the 13th)

The curious, wobbling stagger and irregular flight pattern of seagulls on the coast of England has been attributed to their consumption of the alcohol left in cans discarded on the beach.

Lonnie Perry rented the movie “Ted” in 2014 then he became homeless. He now is facing jail time because of an overdue rental bill.

Blockbuster Video closed its last two stores in Alaska leaving a one final store of the forgotten age, in Bend, Oregon.

A Canadian man placed a 6-year-old McDonald’s hamburger and fries up for auction on eBay. The auction reached $150 before being shut down for violating eBay’s food policy.

We learned that President Trump’s 2020 re-election campaign slogan is the same one as that of a horror movie coming out this summer.

Joe Trillo, a candidate for governor of Rhode Island, started his Sunday sailing his 65-foot motorboat, Lady M, 200 yards from some of Rhode Island’s largest beaches while blasting John Philip Sousa marching songs and flying a giant campaign sign. He finished his Sunday getting rescued by the Coast Guard after his yacht hit a rock and took on water.

A US cargo ship that was steaming full throttle towards China, hoping to deliver its cargo of soybeans before the 25% bump in trade tariffs, didn’t make it.

Honda released a lawnmower that can go 150 miles per hour.

Photo credit: Reddit User: 4chanAD

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The week that was (07-06-2018)

One of France’s most notorious criminals escaped from prison again. This time, on a hijacked helicopter.

“We’re not sure how many there were – there’s not much left of them,” said Sibuya reserve owner Nick Fox about the suspected rhino poachers that were mauled and eaten by lions on the South African game reserve.

A Pennsylvania man finally got around to paying a parking ticket, 44-years later.

An octopus that correctly predicted the outcome of each of Japan’s three World Cup soccer wins was chopped up and sold for food before Japan’s match with Belgium. Japan lost that match and was bumped from the World Cup.

The Japanese fans picked up after themselves as they have been known to do but a FIFA official discovered that the team also left their locker room immaculate earning respect and admiration from everyone.

England made it through to the Round of Eight but apparently England is running out of beer.

Guinness will open its first brewery in the US in more than 60 years, in Baltimore.

The FDA approved the first drug derived from cannabis as a treatment for epilepsy. Rite Aid promptly announced that they will sell Epidiolex when available.

Orange ecstasy pills shaped with the likeness of the US president and stamped with the words “Great Again” have surfaced in Indiana.

“They made me promise I would never do it again, and then sent me on my way with two watermelons,” said a rural Japanese gangster who was caught by local farmers trying to steal their produce. Financially troubled yakuza have been reduced to stealing watermelons and selling branded ashtrays.

A Norwegian Cruise Line crew member who went overboard near Cuba was fished out of the ocean, 22 hours later, by a Carnival Cruise Line ship.

Farmers in South Dakota are looking for their five-ton tractor when it went missing after a powerful tornado swept through their neighborhood.

It was reported that Germany’s combined wind, solar, biomass and hydroelectric power output produced enough renewable energy in the first half of 2018 to power every household in the country for an entire year.

Polish scientists were surprised to receive a monster phone bill when the SIM chip from a GPS tracker they put onto a migratory stork went missing racked up 20 hours’ worth of phone calls.

In the clearest sign yet that Trump is trolling the establishment, his administration put forth the United States Fair and Reciprocal Tariff Act, otherwise known as the US FART act.

Photo credit: Reddit user jcbjstc

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