The week that was (07-27-2018)

A man who vandalized Trump’s Walk of Fame star was bailed out by James Otis, the man who vandalized Trump’s star the last time.

Facing declining profits from cigarette sales, Imperial Brands made its first investment in the marijuana industry. The company behind the Kool and Winston brands, has joined with rap musician Snoop Dogg and actor Patrick Stewart to invest in a British medical marijuana research firm.

A Japanese startup is developing a “shooting stars on demand” service and expects to be ready to deliver the world’s first artificial meteor shower at the 2020 Japan Olympic Games.

The ACLU uploaded 25,000 criminal mugshots into Amazon’s facial recognition software, Rekognition, and ran it against the official photos of all 535 members of Congress, asking for any matches. The software ended up matching 28. Nearly 40 percent of Rekognition’s false matches in the test were of people of color, even though they make up only 20 percent of Congress.

Burberry decided the best way to preserve its brand value was by burning over $38 million of its unsold inventory.

A tortilla chip factory in San Antonio discovered that, if precautions are not taken, their unsold inventory can spontaneously catch fire.

A New Hampshire man was arrested for indecent exposure when he misunderstood his gym’s “judgement free zone” tagline. In Nashville, a man was arrested for doing jumping jacks, naked, in the women’s restroom at McDonald’s.

A University of Iowa football player was arrested for public intoxication after police say he tried to get into a police cruiser, thinking it was his Uber ride.

The California DMV is deciding on the appropriate corrective action after discovering a data operator has been sleeping at her desk for extended periods of time during work hours for the past four years.

Some universities in China have fitness requirements, asking students to log their steps each day with a fitness app. This has spawned a revolution in clever engineering hacks to fool the fitness apps to log steps while they sleep.

A zoo in Egypt is under fire after their zebra’s “stripes” began to run. People are pretty sure it’s a donkey someone painted to look like a zebra.

An Arizona man, who had recently been released from the hospital where he was recovering from a heat-related malady, stole an ambulance because it was too hot to walk. He said he intended to return the ambulance when he was done.

42,000-year old earthworms have revived from their deep freeze in the Siberian permafrost and are now “happily going about their business.”

Photo credit: Reddit user goatious

Sign up to receive The week that was by email!

Flyboard Air – is this thing legal?

Visitors to the Bay Area are amazed at the personal transportation options that you see on a typical day in downtown San Francisco. You’ve all heard about the electric scooter wars, there are also electric skateboards that can reach speeds of up to 30 MPH and there are several variations of the one-wheel board that look like something out of the Jetsons.

Onewheel+XR
Segway Ninebot One S1

I now present the latest in crazy. The Flyboard Air can reach a top speed over 100 MPH and altitudes of hundreds of meters. Pretty sure you can’t use this for your morning commute!

The week that was (07-20-2018)

Crowds on South Street in Philadelphia got bored with the simulcast of the World Cup final and turned to re-living their Eagles win the Super Bowl from five months ago instead.

The small town in rural Japan that is the birthplace of something called Ninja Tourism is facing a shortage of Ninjas.

Scientists have detected just enough Cesium-137 radiation in California wines to date wines made before or after the Fukushima nuclear disaster in Japan.

To the surprise and amusement of city workers, the public flower beds in Powell, Wyoming started sprouting marijuana plants. The contraband cannabis plants were, “unknowingly watered and cared for” before they started to leaf out and were immediately recognized.

Donald Trump, fresh off his self-perceived successes with the NATO and Putin meetings in Europe, wants to paint Air Force One red, white, and blue.

Protestors have organized nightly events outside the White House to prevent Trump from getting over his jet lag. So far there has been a mariachi band and opera singers belting out The Star Spangled Banner. Tonight there will be a hip-hop artist and a brass band. The organizer is looking for tap dancers, puppeteers, a professional auctioneer (to verbally reenact outside the White House everything important Trump is giving away to the highest bidder), and bagpipers for the, “most epic bagpipe performance you have ever seen.”

The Brady Bunch house is on sale for the first time in 45 years. $1.85 million if you must ask.

First it was too heavy so they made it longer. Now it’s too long to fit the dock. Total retrofits of the new Spanish submarines will cost upwards of 14 million euros. Someone had put a decimal point in the wrong place, and “nobody paid attention to review the calculations”.

Rodney Smith Jr. finished his challenge of mowing a lawn in every state, for the 2nd year in a row.

Finally, the made-ya-look headline of the week award goes to Nixon Calls For Trump’s Impeachment by NY State of Politics.

Photo credit: Evy Mages at The Washingtonian

Sign up to receive The week that was by email!

The week that was (Friday the 13th)

The curious, wobbling stagger and irregular flight pattern of seagulls on the coast of England has been attributed to their consumption of the alcohol left in cans discarded on the beach.

Lonnie Perry rented the movie “Ted” in 2014 then he became homeless. He now is facing jail time because of an overdue rental bill.

Blockbuster Video closed its last two stores in Alaska leaving a one final store of the forgotten age, in Bend, Oregon.

A Canadian man placed a 6-year-old McDonald’s hamburger and fries up for auction on eBay. The auction reached $150 before being shut down for violating eBay’s food policy.

We learned that President Trump’s 2020 re-election campaign slogan is the same one as that of a horror movie coming out this summer.

Joe Trillo, a candidate for governor of Rhode Island, started his Sunday sailing his 65-foot motorboat, Lady M, 200 yards from some of Rhode Island’s largest beaches while blasting John Philip Sousa marching songs and flying a giant campaign sign. He finished his Sunday getting rescued by the Coast Guard after his yacht hit a rock and took on water.

A US cargo ship that was steaming full throttle towards China, hoping to deliver its cargo of soybeans before the 25% bump in trade tariffs, didn’t make it.

Honda released a lawnmower that can go 150 miles per hour.

Photo credit: Reddit User: 4chanAD

Sign up to receive The week that was by email!

The week that was (07-06-2018)

One of France’s most notorious criminals escaped from prison again. This time, on a hijacked helicopter.

“We’re not sure how many there were – there’s not much left of them,” said Sibuya reserve owner Nick Fox about the suspected rhino poachers that were mauled and eaten by lions on the South African game reserve.

A Pennsylvania man finally got around to paying a parking ticket, 44-years later.

An octopus that correctly predicted the outcome of each of Japan’s three World Cup soccer wins was chopped up and sold for food before Japan’s match with Belgium. Japan lost that match and was bumped from the World Cup.

The Japanese fans picked up after themselves as they have been known to do but a FIFA official discovered that the team also left their locker room immaculate earning respect and admiration from everyone.

England made it through to the Round of Eight but apparently England is running out of beer.

Guinness will open its first brewery in the US in more than 60 years, in Baltimore.

The FDA approved the first drug derived from cannabis as a treatment for epilepsy. Rite Aid promptly announced that they will sell Epidiolex when available.

Orange ecstasy pills shaped with the likeness of the US president and stamped with the words “Great Again” have surfaced in Indiana.

“They made me promise I would never do it again, and then sent me on my way with two watermelons,” said a rural Japanese gangster who was caught by local farmers trying to steal their produce. Financially troubled yakuza have been reduced to stealing watermelons and selling branded ashtrays.

A Norwegian Cruise Line crew member who went overboard near Cuba was fished out of the ocean, 22 hours later, by a Carnival Cruise Line ship.

Farmers in South Dakota are looking for their five-ton tractor when it went missing after a powerful tornado swept through their neighborhood.

It was reported that Germany’s combined wind, solar, biomass and hydroelectric power output produced enough renewable energy in the first half of 2018 to power every household in the country for an entire year.

Polish scientists were surprised to receive a monster phone bill when the SIM chip from a GPS tracker they put onto a migratory stork went missing racked up 20 hours’ worth of phone calls.

In the clearest sign yet that Trump is trolling the establishment, his administration put forth the United States Fair and Reciprocal Tariff Act, otherwise known as the US FART act.

Photo credit: Reddit user jcbjstc

Sign up to receive The week that was by email!