The week that was (04-26-19)

An Easter Bunny broke up a brawl in Orlando.

The Ukrainian comedian mentioned in the April 5th TWTW not only won the runoff election, he is now President. After getting more than 70% of the votes, Volodymyr Zelensky, the man who plays president on a popular tv show, has defeated the incumbent President.

Researchers at the UC San Francisco have developed a set of sensors that can read a patient’s mind and synthesize the words they are thinking.

A group of people in Las Vegas celebrated Earth Day by getting married to the Earth.

Residents in England took to the streets and painted penis graffiti on all the potholes around town to force the city to fill the holes and cover them up. Resident Brad Nicholson said the potholes had been there for more than a year, adding: “The power of the willy.”

For some reason, scientists in China decided it would be interesting to inject human brain genes into monkey embryos.

Brazilian police have taken a parrot into custody after it nearly foiled a raid on its drug dealer owners. “He must have been trained for this,” one officer involved in the operation said of the two-winged wrongdoer. “As soon as the police got close he started shouting.”

A man wearing a Be a Good Human t-shirt broke into a shop and stole $100k worth of jewelry.

Photo credit: Nidhal Selmi’s impossible triangle, via Kottke

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