Categories
Office

Wanna join the RNC?

Junk Mail

Today I received an envelope in the mail not unlike those junk bank mailings that ask if you’d like to borrow money from them. It even came with one of those flimsy, fake credit cards with your name embossed in gold. Yet, this one was different, it was from George W. Bush.

Dated “Wednesday Morning” the letter went on to thank me for “all you do as a long-time friend and supporter” and asked if I would like to verify my membership to the Republican National Committee with a donation. Pretty presumptious I’d say – I’ve been a Democrat all my life.

Wondering how I made it onto the rolls of “supportive Republicans,” I noticed that the letter was addressed to “Ian T. Kennedy” – Bingo! Thank you Verizon, you made another dime off my name. When they signed me up for my phone number, they got my middle initial wrong and ever since have provided me with a useful tag to track all the places they’ve made money off of my name and address. Now they’ve profiled me as an ideal prospect for Republican campaigners. I wonder what tipped them off? All those phone calls to Japan?

Anyway, I would never think of giving money to this administration after what they’ve allowed to go on under their watch. You’ve got Ashcroft thinking he’s above the law & constitution (click here for a hilarious clip from the Daily Show) and now you’ve got Rumsfeld trying to explain reasons why they can ignore the Geneva Conventions and international law by hiding a prisoner from the Red Cross for seven months.

It’s embarassing and disgraceful and sets a terrible example for the rest of the world. Is this the kind of “democracy” they want to bring to Iraq?

No, I do not think I will become member number 574842516-P623 of the RNC.

Categories
Current Events

Friendster Andy

There’s a profile of a guy on Friendster making the rounds with the most over-the-top About Me section that it’s worth posting in its entirety:

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice with my bare hands. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for 3 days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and god-like saxophone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines at unflagging speed, I cook 30 minute brownies in 20 minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran of love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single- handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesday afternoons I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number 9 and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every item at the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic and all my bills are paid. On the weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago, I discovered the meaning of life but I forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet; I have performed open-heart surgery, and have spoken to Elvis. But I have not yet been to Australia.

UPDATE: I have learned that this was lifted from essay written by someone named Hugh Gallagher in 1998. Hugh is now a writer.

Picture Thread

I have no idea who this poor fellow is but this hilarous running commentary on one of the subjects in a photo taken at a party is a gem of collective image discourse!

via Joi Ito