The week that was (longest day edition)

Fiction became fact when the Facebook livestream of a Pakistani politician’s face was adorned with kitten ears when someone inadvertently flipped on a video filter. This was the topic of a Saturday Night Live skit just a few months earlier.

Finnish national broadcaster YLE discontinued its weekly Nuntii Latini, newscast spoken entirely in Latin. Not to worry, the Catholic Church has announced the Vatican Radio will start hosting one of its own Latin broadcasts.

The 100-year old Monterey Cypress tree in San Diego that is said to have inspired Dr. Suess’ story of The Lorax fell over. No word on if the Once-Ler is to blame.

A new type of whale was discovered. Confirmed by DNA tests on a skull discovered in 1990, scientists announced the first recorded hybrid beluga-narwhal. Still undecided is if it is to be called a belugawhal. A narwhaluga.

Marijuana Pepsi is now Dr. Marijuana Pepsi after earning her dissertation on “Black names in white classrooms: Teacher behaviors and student perceptions.”

Mitsubishi is selling a $270 toaster that toasts one perfect slice of bread at a time.

Facebook helped re-unite a man with his prosthetic ear that washed up on a beach in Florida.

An army of ants took over a United Airlines flight from Venice to New York. Here’s the tale told in a 22-part twitter thread.

An entire NYC subway car broke out in spontaneous and unprompted song.

Photo credit: Reddit user the-furry


The week that was (06-14-19)

An oak sapling, planted jointly by Trump and Macron as a symbol of their countries’ friendship, has died. In an awkward bit of symbolism, the tree died in quarantine.

In order to speed up turnaround times for its airplanes at the gate, United is sending its ground crew to NASCAR pit crew training camps.

The Japanese parliament passed a law making illegal to fly an unmanned drone while drunk.

A rapper named “Scarface” announced that he’s running for a seat on the Houston City Council.

A man in Israel managed to hold up two banks armed with nothing but an avocado.

The F-35 fighter jet project is coming along nicely save a few hiccups. Pilots are asked to limit the jet’s airspeed to avoid “damage to the F-35’s airframe or stealth coating.” Kind of the point with a fighter jet. To go fast and not fall apart.

The Honda lawnmower that can go 150 mph announced last year? There’s now video.

The was a bumper crop of mangoes in the Philippines due to unusually warm weather, they now have 10 million more mangoes than usual and are not sure what to do.

A baby girl, born on board a train traveling from Galway to Dublin, was granted 25 years of free travel by Irish Rail


The week that was (06-07-19)

It was only the 2nd time ever that there were two English soccer teams playing each other in the European Champion’s League final. Thousands of fans flew from England to Madrid, Spain to cheer on their favorite team. 63,272 managed to squeeze in to see the match. Meanwhile, two US MLS Soccer teams played in Atlanta and sold over 67,000 tickets.

Either someone has pulled off an elaborate hoax or the San Francisco sharing economy has literally jumped the shark. Swedish Startup to Bring Pogo Sticks to S.F. as E-Scooter Alternative.

Across the Bay, the Oakland City Council unanimously passed a resolution decriminalizing psychedelic magic mushrooms.

Almost 19,000 women filed a petition with Japan’s Labor Ministry calling for a ban on dress codes that require women to wear high heels at work. Takumi Nemoto, Japan’s Health and Labor minister, cryptically replied, “It is socially accepted as something that falls within the realm of being occupationally necessary and appropriate.” Who is Nemoto you ask? He’s the same fellow who was accused earlier in the year of fudging government data resulting in over 20 million being short-changed on their benefits. Something that has been going on for 15 years.

In what most certainly was a case of the cure doing more harm than the ailment, an injured woman in her 70’s was airlifted off a mountain outside of Phoenix and was given the whirl y-gig ride of her life.

A “bloom” of ladybugs 80 miles wide flying between 5,000 and 9,000 feet in the skies near San Diego were so concentrated that they were picked up on radar.

A hotel safe, unyielding to blacksmiths, the safe manufacturer and former hotel employees who had long forgotten the combination, was opened by a random visitor who guessed correctly on his very first try.

Photo credit: Reddit user JohnnyGFam


The week that was (05-31-19)

“We are now in uncharted territory” said the announcer at the Scripps National Spelling Bee. After 5 and a half hours one day and 3 and a half the next, an unprecedented eight contestants remained and, for the first time, shared the championship.

A motorist in Germany avoided a speeding ticket when a dove flew in front of the automatic speed trap camera. Police will not pursue charges because of what they jokingly said was divine intervention.

Owners of of a theme park that features a life-sized replica of Noah’s Ark are suing their insurance company for rain damage.

The We Build The Wall group was temporarily thwarted from construction of a privately-funded border wall when the city government informed them that the group had not filed the proper work permits. Work resumed later once inspections were passed and permits issued for their half-mile barrier with Mexico.

In an abundance of caution, an elementary school in Scranton, PA closed for the day after reviewing security camera footage showing a naked man strolling the hallways pouring Murphy’s Oil Soap all over the floor.

A rapper in North Carolina is facing life in prison for murder. Part of the evidence are the lyrics in his piece, Cookies, in which he rapped about the incident.

Tornados swept through the Midwest but people would rather watch the Bachelorette.

Photo credit: Reddit user: hobbsarelie83


The week that was (05-24-19)

Police in Edinburgh asked the local McDonalds to halt sales of all milk shakes and ice cream just ahead of a Nigel Farage rally for fear that people would pelt the Brexit Party politician with the milky desserts. Apparently, milkshaking is a thing.

The official definition of the kilogram changed.

Kami Rita, a Nepalese Sherpa, set a new Mount Everest record, making it to the top for the 24th time – with his second summit in only seven days. The feat is even more incredible considering how crowded it gets these days.

A paper plate once used by Kurt Cobain to eat pizza sold for $22,400.

The quilting world erupted in controversy over a pair of scissors.

A technician restoring an old synthesizer from the Sixties absorbed LSD through his fingers and started what became a nine-hour trip. Apparently the avant-garde musician that used the instrument in the 60s used to dip the wires into LSD to inspire the musicians (and music?).

The St. Louis Blues beat the San Jose Sharks and will play in the Stanley Cup finals for the first time since 1970. In celebration, the local radio station played the Laura Branigan hit “Gloria” for 24 hours straight.

Visitors to Florida woke to discover an alligator in their AirBnB’s pool lounging on top of a blow-up alligator.

President Trump will attend the Grand Sumo Tournament in Tokyo this weekend. He will present the winner with a custom, “Trump Award” but is causing much consternation because he has asked to sit in a chair and not on a traditional Japanese zabuton cushion like everyone else.

California is debating a law that allows veterinarians to prescribe medical marijuana to pets. No word on when recreational weed for pets will be made available.

Photo credit: Reddit user Splicani_


The week that was (05-17-19)

A man took a submarine down to the bottom of the Mariana Trench, the deepest spot in the ocean. Down there, at 36,000 feet below the surface, he found trash.

Burger King has stated a pilot service delivering burgers & fries to those stuck in traffic in Los Angeles and Mexico City. Doesn’t this just make the traffic worse?

A town in Spain was forced to shut down a slide that connected two streets, saving a 10-minute walk. Many people using it hurt themselves after getting ejected off the bottom of the slide’s 33-degree slope.

Arizona followed New York’s lead and lifted a ban on nunchucks. “I find it interesting that a state that allows you to walk around with a gun on your hip worries about nunchucks being a problem,” said Shawn Sample, an Arizona karate instructor. No word on Alabama.

A Key West woman was arrested on a felony charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, a coconut.

A student in South Africa apparently got away with posing as “someone from headquarters” as he helped himself to free KFC in the name of quality control. Bold move for sure but bonus points for getting away with it for a year.

Electric driverless delivery trucks began rolling on public roads in Sweden. Don’t get caught behind one though, the trucks are limited to speeds of 5km/hr.

Photo credit: elevator under construction by reddit user Sorktastic


The Week That Was (5-10-19)

Ben Hsu fell asleep with two Airpods but in the morning could only find one. He used his iPhone’s “Find my Airpods” tracking feature which causes the Airpod to chirp so you can locate it. ‘I checked under my blanket and looked around but couldn’t find it – then I realised the sound was coming from my stomach.’

Two teenagers skipping school from Christ’s Church Academy in Florida were pulled out to sea while swimming at the beach. Realizing the gravity of their situation, they cried out to God for help. A sailboat heading up the coast happened to see them and rescued them. The boat’s name? Amen

The Pentagon has decided to end a training program for Afghan Air Force pilots after 40% of them went AWOL while in America and never came back.

A supermarket cashier made history by being the first woman to join Queen Elizabeth’s 359-year-old Household Cavalry. Meanwhile, Prince Charles announced he has opened a B&B in Scotland. Oh, and a baby was born.

An iguana is in protective custody awaiting court permission to receive medical treatment after its owner hurled it at a restaurant owner. After finding 41 small turtles in a bag in the back of her car, police asked a Florida woman if she “had anything else.” That’s when she pulled a foot-long alligator out of her yoga pants.

Fifteen sheep were enrolled at a primary school in the French Alps after parents feared falling student numbers would see some classes closed.

In another shuffle towards self-awareness, Tesla extended the capability of their car to self-diagnose itself so that now the car can even pre-order spare parts in advance.

Presidential candidate Andrew Yang promised to deliver his State of the Union address with accompanying PowerPoint slides. In response, the crowd erupted in what must be the world’s first instance of a collective chant for “PowerPoint! PowerPoint!”

Photo credit: The winning sand sculpture of 2019’s Texas Sand Sculpture Festival


The week that was (05-03-19)

As the Japanese Emperor rides off into the sunset and the country resets the Imperial Calendar, transition products are all the rage including one enterprising vendor who is selling cans of Heiwa-era air.

A Santa Rosa man lost his prosthetic leg while skydiving over the Northern California vineyards. “I tried to watch where it was falling, but I was so overwhelmed in that moment I could not keep track.” The leg was found by workers in a nearby lumberyard and reunited with its owner.

Matt Easton, the valedictorian at the Brigham Young University, came out in front of the entire university as part of his commencement speech announcing publicly, for the first time, that he is “proud to be a gay son of God.”

Cleveland’s very own “semi-pro” Quidditch team had tryouts last weekend. Yes, professional Quidditch is a thing.

Over 193 million citizens cast their vote on April 17th national election in Indonesia. In the two weeks since then, over 7 million people have been counting the ballots by hand. Because of the long hours, the General Elections Commission, said 1,878 staff had fallen ill and 270 people have died from exhaustion. They expect to have a final count by May 22nd.

For the first time, a donor organ was delivered for transplant by a drone. A kidney was flown a few miles from a site in West Baltimore to the University of Maryland Medical Center across town.

Philadelphia residents gathered in an abandoned lot because of a mysterious letter about a “steel furnace” that went viral. People had a lot of fun meeting each other and residents hope to make it an annual event.

Photo credit: Reddit userZzyzzy_ZzyzzysonK


The week that was (04-26-19)

An Easter Bunny broke up a brawl in Orlando.

The Ukrainian comedian mentioned in the April 5th TWTW not only won the runoff election, he is now President. After getting more than 70% of the votes, Volodymyr Zelensky, the man who plays president on a popular tv show, has defeated the incumbent President.

Researchers at the UC San Francisco have developed a set of sensors that can read a patient’s mind and synthesize the words they are thinking.

A group of people in Las Vegas celebrated Earth Day by getting married to the Earth.

Residents in England took to the streets and painted penis graffiti on all the potholes around town to force the city to fill the holes and cover them up. Resident Brad Nicholson said the potholes had been there for more than a year, adding: “The power of the willy.”

For some reason, scientists in China decided it would be interesting to inject human brain genes into monkey embryos.

Brazilian police have taken a parrot into custody after it nearly foiled a raid on its drug dealer owners. “He must have been trained for this,” one officer involved in the operation said of the two-winged wrongdoer. “As soon as the police got close he started shouting.”

A man wearing a Be a Good Human t-shirt broke into a shop and stole $100k worth of jewelry.

Photo credit: Nidhal Selmi’s impossible triangle, via Kottke


The week that was (04-19-19)

An Indiana man is suing his parents for getting rid of his vast pornography collection, which he estimates is worth $29,000.

Game developer Ubisoft carefully documented Notre Dame in order to reproduce it for their video game, Assassin’s Creed. Ubisoft has not only handed over their files to the architects on the cathedral restoration project and donated €500,000 to the effort, they also and are offering a free download of the game so everyone can experience the cathedral for themselves.

A team of Tel Aviv University researchers have “printed an entire heart replete with cells, blood vessels, ventricles and chambers” using 3-D printing technology.

The US Navy is getting serious about commissioning pilotless drone submarines.

Workers misspelled the word, “School” on a road outside a school in Florida.

Scientists say that it’s only a matter of time before the rapidly shifting magnetic North Pole moves from Canadian to Russian territory.

Proprietors of the mobile app Car2Go were shocked to discover that more than 100 vehicles have. . . gone missing.

Photo credit: Mueller Report – Axios has a searchable version