I fell down a rabbit hole the other night watching cyclists on fixed gear bikes ride like maniacs thru busy urban streets. It all started when I ran across this viral video promoting designer Aimé Leon Dore by putting their Knit Cycling Jersey on the back of a rider navigating the busy streets of Manhattan.
12-minutes from Times Square to the Brooklyn Bridge, no stops, one take.
I later learned that the rider in that video was Toni Rodriguez (@shogun.toro) and that he rides in these events called alleycat races, the biggest being the MonsterTrack which is a race around NYC that he won last year.
MonsterTrack 2023 is a 34-mile race around Manhattan.
I also learned that the camera work for Toni’s Brooklyn Bridge ride was done by this guy Terry Barentsen, a Brooklyn-based videographer who is takes these amazingly stable videos with a GoPro rig on his head.
THEN I found that TerryB filmed the last MonsterTrack race in a heart-thumping, can’t turn my eyes away, hour-and-a-half long video. The mic is on so you can hear the screams of people yelling at them from all the near misses and the breathless dialog as the riders try and work out the quickest way to get from point A to point B.
I will say that I in no way condone this behavior. Racing recklessly through a busy, urban environment on a bike with no brakes is a danger not only to the rider but to everyone on the road. There are several near misses and even a full on collision (scrub forward to about 12:30 in the video) with a cab. A couple of years back, someone died during a race in Chicago.
At what point do you start calling yourself a New Yorker? What event triggers in your mind that you are now “from New York,” an active citizen of this city? In no certain order here are some of those things that I’ve gathered up when I asked people this question. I am not a New Yorker yet, but know what it means to be one.
I will add to this list as I think of things. Leave a note below in the comments if you have something to add.
Getting Around
All distances are defined in blocks and avenues. You know that it takes approximately 20 minutes to walk 20 blocks uptown or downtown.
You’ve taken a “cash only” taxi ride.
You know that when a subway pulls up and the car in front of you is empty, it means the heat’s on in the summer or someone’s puked on the floor.
You know where you need to get on a train so, when you arrive at your destination, you’re right at the exit you need.
No one calls it Avenue of the Americas – it’s Sixth. Never North or South, just Uptown and Downtown. Oh, and if you pronounce “Houston” like the Texas city, you’re a dead giveaway for an out-of-towner.
You secretly dread the sudden appearance of Showtime on your subway ride.
. . . but be sure to look both ways before crossing the street, especially on a one-way, gotta watch out for those bikes. (@albertcox – world traveler)
Did you know that you can use the 6 train subway stops in Manhattan as a handy conversion table from Fahrenheit to Celsius?
Things to Do
You feel totally fine spending a weekend at home being cozy because, yes, NYC has tons of things to do, but it’s also home and you don’t need to DO all the things to know that you could if you wanted to. (thanks Clarice Meadows!)
You’ve never been to the Statue of Liberty. You know it’s there, it’ll always be there.
You’ve been to Katz’s but know a better place to get a pastrami sandwich.
You not only have your local go-to pizza joint, you know a decent place within 20 blocks of any place you may be in your borough.
You have a local fruit stand guy/bodega/barista/bartender that knows you by name and asks where you’ve been if you go away for a few weeks.
You know the real Chinatown is in Queens.
You have a favorite dinner or drinks spot that closed and, forever after, you mentally pour one out when you pass by the new place that’s taken over. (thanks Clarice Meadows!)
Living Quarters
You’ve complained to, and reached a compromise with, your neighbor.
Your ears perk up whenever you overhear of a place with in-apartment washer & dryer.
You realize that the cluster of blocks where you live is your small village linked together to other small villages in this city of millions.
Culture
You’ve had a public argument with someone on the street.
To be a NYer is to be yourself, and so to feel ownership everywhere. True New Yorkers don’t wait on line for anything. Especially brunch. (@moorehn)
While out walking on errands, you run into at least two people you know.
A new hotel going up near Times Square is proposing putting one of those vertical-drop rides on the top of the building.
In the request, Extell suggests that vertical-drop rides will pull in tourists as well as “a few jaded New Yorkers,” and pitches it as the next level for hoteliers who “must think flexibly in order to survive.”
I recognized the font of the “Howl” on the front of his baseball cap. We struck up a conversation about City Lights bookstore, Ferlinghetti, the Beats and old San Francisco. Eric was his name.
Turns out he was an agent for some of Allen Ginsberg’s art and hung out at his apartment on the Lower East Side. “What was Ginsberg like, as a person?” I asked.
“He reminded me of a Jewish grandmother. He would lean over the front seat and give the cabbie very specific directions.”
After catching an epic Phish concert at MSG on 12/29, I took the MetroNorth from Grand Central to meet my cousin to see Dark Star Orchestra at the famed Capitol Theater in Port Chester. I’ve never been to the Cap but have heard numerous tapes of legendary shows from this venue so I was looking forward to seeing it in person.
The concert did not disappoint, the sound was amazing and the band played some of the songs even better than when I heard them played by the Grateful Dead. (DSO played a setlist from 12/27/78 from San Diego)
Dark Star Orchestra at The Capitol Theater, December 30, 2022
The Capitol Theater is just a block or two away from the Port Chester train station but, after 11pm, the train only comes once/hour so a bunch of us were keeping our eye on our watch just to make sure I got out in time to catch the 12:15am train.
I stuck around to see what the encore would be and once I heard the open notes of US Blues, I figured it’s better to try and make the 12:15 rather than risk waiting around on a freezing platform for an hour so made my way outside and down to the station. Turns out I didn’t really miss the encore because you can hear it from the train platform!
Anyway, there were about 20 people on the platform that did the same thing as I and were waiting for the 12:15 train. There was an electronic sign on the platform but it only listed the 1:15am train, no 12:15. Amidst much murmuring, I took out my phone to check the MTA TrainTime app to settle the debate.
This is what I saw.
We all couldn’t believe it so others downloaded the app to check for sure and debates started to break out, do you believe the sign on the platform, do you think the app is just flaky or is something else wrong? Groups formed into the believers and non-believers. Tempers flared a bit and one guy from Austria suggested that I stop refreshing the screen and turn off my phone when it shows a 12:15am train because, maybe my app had the power to summon the train itself.
It came down to faith. Did you have faith in something you couldn’t see, classic epistemology, how do you know you know? One guy on the non-believer side was hedging his bets and noisily making alternative plans, asking his buddy with a car not to leave just in case the train didn’t show up. I joked with him for not believing and chastised him gently as a doubter and others joined me, “that’s right, you’re scaring the train away. . .” He gave us a look that said, “Yeah, whatever buddy, I don’t believe in that mumbo jumbo. I’m going to take care of me and my wife and get my ass home regardless.” He was firmly in the not believe category but when his wife leaned over to see if she could see the light of the train in the distance, he told her to get back away from the edge of the platform in case the train comes. “So you DO believe!” someone said and all of us had a laugh.
The the train did show up. Right on schedule at 12:15am and we all hopped on to the warm train and we sank into our seats. I rolled into Grand Central about an hour later at 1:15am and popped out the side to walk up 43rd to my apartment but not before stopping by for a slice of pizza where the friendly proprietor wished me Happy New Year and gave me a cola at the “Happy New Year price”
Satiated after two incredible nights of live music, I ambled home to a warm night’s slumber. Ready for a quiet New Year’s Eve, the way I like it.
New Yorkers face all sorts of hassles that come with living in the big city. Whether it’s the daily breakdown of the subway or a parade blocking your crosstown taxi, these is always some minor inconvenience that comes with living in a vibrant city. The day-in-and-day-out of millions of people rubbing shoulders, fulfilling their dreams is bound to result in some rough edges from time to time. We all know it happens, it’s a fact of life, we just roll with it and keep on, keeping on.
But an injustice that New Yorkers will not tolerate is when a corporate or political bureaucracy picks on the individual. New Yorkers are quick to smell bullshit and will unify and rise up if they sense injustice thrown down from above. An attack on one is an attack on all.
This played itself out during the recent holiday travel disaster that played out in airports across the country with Southwest Airlines cancelling over 2,500 flights in a single day. When flights get cancelled, airlines need volunteers to give up their seats on overbooked flights. Usually the airlines can get people to give up their spot but in NYC, the people collectively came together to resist.
99% of the time the chaos breaks people at the airport. 1% of the time the chaos creates an impromptu game show.
At JFK. Guy behind the counter asks for a volunteer to give up a seat for $500. Nothing. “$550.” The crowd suddenly coalesces to shout “HIGHER!” like it was a game show. “$750” “HIGHER! “800!” “NOT IN NEW YORK! GO HIGHER!” They applauded the elderly woman who took it at $1100.
I love New York City because it’s a place where a diverse group of people of different ages, beliefs, backgrounds, and experiences can come together as one if it means fucking with somebody else making them wait in line.
It’s not surprising really. Leave bags of hot, steaming food out all night on the sidewalk and pretty soon the critters will come out for a meal – and have babies.
In response, the city has listed a job opening for a cabinet level post. The Director of Rodent Mitigation, a Rat Czar.
What’s so amusing about this is that the Mayor is having a bit of fun within the confines of big city politics and had the Job Posting written up with a bit of flair designed to get a bit of media attention. And it worked.
Here are my favorite bits (bolding is my own).
The About This Job section opens with a bang:
Do you have what it takes to do the impossible? A virulent vehemence for vermin?
They then lean into the job title, full well knowing it’s not the most sexy but, hey, go with it.
If so, your dream job awaits: New York’s Citywide Director of Rodent Mitigation.
I think the PR folks that helped write the job description are still hurting from all the earned media from the Pizza Rat. I was in San Francisco and even I heard about the Pizza Rat.
Despite their successful public engagement strategy and cheeky social media presence, rats are not our friends. . . Cunning, voracious, and prolific, New York City’s rats are legendary for their survival skills, but they don’t run this city – we do.
But back to the JD. Yadda, yadda, yadda, then they show they mean business.
The ideal candidate is highly motivated and somewhat bloodthirsty, determined to look at all solutions from various angles, including improving operational efficiency, data collection, technology innovation, trash management, and wholesale slaughter.
Then on to the qualifications. New York City resident, Bachelor’s Degree, experience in policy and urban planning, strong organizational skills and attention to detail, proficiency with Microsoft Word, Excel and Powerpoint, team player, adapts well to change, then:
Swashbuckling attitude, crafty humor, and general aura of badassery
This was it. Only in NYC would you see this line in a government job posting. It’s not just be a bad ass, no – they spiffed it up a bit and wrote a “general aura of badassery” Damn – this is a city that will talk straight to you.
Where to you go when you want to get a super-short haircut after wearing it long for many years? You go to the person that has been perfecting the “pixie” haircut since the New Wave era, the guy with photos of Audrey Hepburn on the wall, the guy who owns the domain for cropsforgirls.com. Google “short haircut for women in NYC” and Crops for Girls Salon comes up as the first result. 30+ years in business, he’s even been written up in the NY Times.
Michael’s salon is in the East Village, he only takes cash, and is seriously thinking of packing it in to join his sister out West but we’re happy we found him while he’s still here. What do you think?
Every vibrant city has its public transportation woes and homegrown hacks to resolve them.
I experienced Mexico City’s Pesero buses when I was directed by a local to jump into passing VW Bus that took me where I wanted to go as long as I didn’t mind dropping off a few other people along the way. The Pesero system operated somewhere in between the over-crowded and inflexible bus system and extortionist taxis. It was the people’s transit system.
When I lived in the Bay Area, the Casual Carpool system was a network of quasi-official commuter options that, while not funded by the government, are at least acknowledged because they serve a need that is not met by the existing Bay Area Rapid Transit commuter rail.
Today I learned that New York has its Dollar Vans which act as a “shadow transit” network that fills a need for those that are not served by New York’s existing transit system. The long-rumored Interborough subway line that can get you from Queens to Brooklyn without going via Manhattan is still a twinkle in Gov. Kathy Hochul’s eye so, in the meantime, the Dollar Van network is your best bet.
There’s an on-going struggle with the authorities as the network of Dollar Vans are not licensed, the taxi drivers hate them, and van drivers sometimes get harassed by the police. Despite all this, there is a need that is filled so that even when downed trees from Hurricane Sandy keeps the buses off the roads, the Dollar Vans will still be rolling to New Yorkers to work.
Here’s a map of where the vans go. Click to get more details on each route on this piece by The New Yorker.
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