So I’m almost done updating my addresses on all the various magazines, credit cards, frequent flier accounts, and other sundry organizations that like to mail me things from time to time.  Today I called Citibank and in the process of updating my address am given the gentle pitch to take advantage of their service which monitors my credit report.

Blah, blah, blah – free trial for 30 days – blah, blah, blah – will send you a notification anytime a new account is opened in your name – blah, blah, blah. I keep saying very politely to the lady obviously reading from a script that I was not interested. Curious to see what type of sales style she would use, I asked her an innocent question about the pricing. WHAM – she’s on the hunt and won’t take no for an answer. I’m immediately in the section of the script where if you don’t take advantage of this offer now, your credit history, identity, and family name are in danger of being hijacked by the dark side. Act NOW sir! I implore you!

I finally fended her off but as I hung up (no more please, no, really, I just wanted to give you my new address so I could continue using your card when I need it, that’s it, really, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!) I thought – that’s rich – the same people that I am relying on to protect my credit history and warn me about credit card abuse and all that fun stuff are now trying to sell me a service to monitor this stuff.

Kind of like a policeman coming to your door to sell you an alarm system.