$54 Million lawsuit over lost pants

For crying out loud – this is what’s wrong with the US legal system. A former judge is suing for a pair of pants lost by his dry cleaner, not really about the pants but more their promise of guaranteed satisfaction.

“This is not a case about a pair of suit pants,” Roy Pearson argued before the District of Columbia Court of Appeals. Rather, it is about whether the owners of a neighborhood business misled consumers with a sign that claimed “Satisfaction Guaranteed,” he said.

“There is an unconditional guarantee,” he argued, unless the merchant indicates otherwise.

Pearson said that the sign was deceptive and that the burden was on owners Jin Nam Chung and Soo Chung to explain whether the promise came with restrictions.

Not only that, if he loses his appeal, he could seek to have his case heard by the Supreme Court. What a great use of the top legal minds in our country.

Ottoman Empire and California State Taxes

Quicken Turbo Tax and the Ottoman Empire

The screenshot above is taken from my 2007 version of Quicken Turbo Tax. What does the Ottoman Empire have to do with California state taxes and Michael Jackson’s lawyer, Mark Geragos? Read on.

Aliens Among Us

Tyler & I riffed on a cool plot line for a movie.

678715072_l.jpgAliens, who have come to appreciate our candy, particularly Laffy Taffy (a name which cracks up Tyler every time), have figured out a way to stock up on their supply without freaking us all out. Every Halloween, they come visit and make the rounds of various neighborhood and use the special code phrase, “Trick or Treat” and get thrown an assortment of goodies. Because it’s Halloween, they never have to cloak themselves or sulk about and if they ever get asked about they even get complimented for their “costumes.”

OK, it sounded better when we talked about it. Let us work on it more.

Creepy Animation

Update: the movie’s been taken down 🙁

Not something you want to see late at night, by yourself, in a dark & empty house. Click on the glowing items to see what happens, this is so totally creepy.

Krap Dance

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I consider myself pretty culturally sensitive but this one’s too good to pass up. At a local Cambodian restaurant which we frequent I spotted this poster up on the wall. This is absolutely no comment on the quality of their food nor what it may do to you as you digest it but one has to wonder the reaction of English-speaking tourists in Cambodia when asked if they want to view the “Krap Dance”

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Speed Lumps

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I’ve heard of Speed Bumps and Speed Humps but here in Alameda we have Speed Lumps. What exactly is the difference and imagine the bewilderment to the road construction crew when they go into the back of their truck to pick up the the appropriate sign,

“I don’t know Larry, they kind of look like humps to me, what to you think Moe?”

“Nah, it looks more like a bump, check out the curvature on the approach.”

“Yeah, but if you look at the peak, yeah, there, from the driver’s perspective, it’s less of an angle, almost flat, this is more like a lump to me,”

Our taxdollars hard at work. . .

Credit History

So I’m almost done updating my addresses on all the various magazines, credit cards, frequent flier accounts, and other sundry organizations that like to mail me things from time to time.  Today I called Citibank and in the process of updating my address am given the gentle pitch to take advantage of their service which monitors my credit report.

Blah, blah, blah – free trial for 30 days – blah, blah, blah – will send you a notification anytime a new account is opened in your name – blah, blah, blah. I keep saying very politely to the lady obviously reading from a script that I was not interested. Curious to see what type of sales style she would use, I asked her an innocent question about the pricing. WHAM – she’s on the hunt and won’t take no for an answer. I’m immediately in the section of the script where if you don’t take advantage of this offer now, your credit history, identity, and family name are in danger of being hijacked by the dark side. Act NOW sir! I implore you!

I finally fended her off but as I hung up (no more please, no, really, I just wanted to give you my new address so I could continue using your card when I need it, that’s it, really, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!) I thought – that’s rich – the same people that I am relying on to protect my credit history and warn me about credit card abuse and all that fun stuff are now trying to sell me a service to monitor this stuff.

Kind of like a policeman coming to your door to sell you an alarm system.

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Wifi Spray

Now I know what I need to do to get that Cisco card of mine to talk to my Linksys – WiFi Speed Spray is “guaranteed to enhance the tranfer of computer data through the air.”