The week that was

Scientists cloned a black-footed ferret from the frozen cells of another black-footed ferret that died 30 years ago when the species was declared extinct.

The NYPD deployed a Boston Robotics “dog” into a tense hostage situation. “We can send it into complete darkness and get an idea of what’s going on inside” said a member of the Technical Assistance Response Unit. Meanwhile, performance art group MSCHF’s attempt to use a similar robot for an art project flamed out spectacularly.

China apologized to the State Department after acknowledging that they were giving US diplomats anal Covid swab tests, “in error.”

19-year-old Brandon Soules hated his job at the local tire repair shop. He hated it so much that he staged an elaborate kidnapping “excuse to get out of work”. He was fired instead.

52-year-old Latvian sailor Vidam Perevertilov fell overboard in the middle of the South Pacific without a life jacket at 4am. As his supply freighter steamed off into the distance he spotted an old fishing buoy which saved his life.

Federal agents in Cincinnati seized $2.8M in cocaine sprinkled on a shipment of corn flakes from Peru.

The Jeep brand has had a tough couple of weeks. First there was the on again/off again drill around Bruce Springsteen’s DWI arrest that ruined their expensive Super Bowl spot. Now an actual Chief Cherokee is asking they no longer use the Cherokee name because it’s literally wiping out the tribe on Google.

Silicon Valley electronics retailer Fry’s closed its doors for good. They blame Covid but we all know “change in retail environment” is code for Amazon.

Japanese contractor Taisei developed a method to convert carbon dioxide into concrete using CO2-infused calcium and blast furnace slag. At the same time, Purdue University researchers developed a new concrete recipe that will double the speed that concrete naturally absorbs carbon dioxide over its lifetime. It’s not clear if these two groups are talking to each other.

NYC, Portland, and Seattle are happy to report that they are no longer “anarchist jurisdictions” thanks to Biden unwinding another Trump proclamation.

Hasbro announced that Mr. Potato Head will become just Potato Head in order to “broaden the franchise” and “allow it to be a platform for many characters.”

Someone is recreating the entire Hamilton musical inside the video game Animal Crossing. What have you been up to lately?






Leave a comment