The week that was

Hundreds of migrating birds had to be freed from a chimney of a home in Santa Barbara. Not having learned their lesson, the next day they apparently flew down another chimney in Los Angeles.

A man’s bathroom break was extended longer than he bargained for when high winds knocked a tree over on to the porta potty he occupied, pinning him inside. The local fire department had to free him with chainsaws and a Sawzall.

Record-sized hailstones fell on Texas.

The booster stage of a Chinese rocket is due to plummet from the heavens sometime tonight. The size of this randomly falling space junk is 20 tons, breaking last year’s record of 18 tons.

The world’s longest pedestrian suspension bridge opened in Portugal.

The government of the Maldives, tired of asking the rest of the world to help reverse climate change, announced that they will build a floating city.

A Japanese town blew its Covid relief funds on a giant statue of a squid.

A Canadian town erupted in a sign war as local businesses competed to outwit each other.

Verizon sold off Yahoo and Aol and we learned that there are 1.5 million people still paying their Aol monthly subscription fees.

A man decided to throw “good luck coins” into the jet engine of a plane he was boarding and grounded the flight for all passengers and had to pay a steep fine for the trouble he caused.

A Belgian farmer, annoyed with a stone marker that was blocking his tractor, moved it out of the way and unwittingly re-drew the border between France and Belgium.

Remember those bottles of wine that spent a year in space? One will be auctioned off to raise money for research. Wine connoisseurs have tasted one of the other bottles sent up and said the taste was, “hard to describe.”

TWTW is a weekly collection of bits and pieces I run across each week while looking after things at SmartNews. Feel free to sign-up to get this via email, follow on Facebook, or forward to a friend.

Current Events


The internet is full of link rot. Things that you point to for their brilliance submerge out of view years later, lost to the sands of time. The wayback machine may be your only salvation but it’s like looking for lost scraps of paper in the attic.

For this reason, I have copy/pasted this bit of internet brilliance below for you to enjoy today and forever. The context is an adoption listing for a 2-year old Chihuahua in a brutally honest Facebook post that went wildly viral.

Ok, I’ve tried. I’ve tried for the last several months to post this dog for adoption and make him sound…palatable. The problem is, he’s just not. There’s not a very big market for neurotic, man hating, animal hating, children hating dogs that look like gremlins. But I have to believe there’s someone out there for Prancer, because I am tired and so is my family. Every day we live in the grips of the demonic Chihuahua hellscape he has created in our home. If you own a Chihuahua you probably know what I’m talking about. He’s literally the Chihuahua meme that describes them as being 50% hate and 50% tremble. If you’re intrigued and horrified at how this animal sounds already, just wait….there’s more. Prancer came to me obese, wearing a cashmere sweater, with a bacon egg n cheese stuffed in his crate with him. I should have known in that moment this dog would be a problem. He was owned by an elderly woman who treated him like a human and never socialized him. Sprinkle in a little genetic predisposition for being nervous, and you’ve concocted a neurotic mess, AKA Prancer. His first week he was too terrified to have a personality. As awful as it sounds, I kind of liked him better that way. He was quiet, and just laid on the couch. Didn’t bother anyone. I was excited to see him come out of his shell and become a real dog. I am convinced at this point he is not a real dog, but more like a vessel for a traumatized Victorian child that now haunts our home. Prancer only likes women. Nothing else. He hates men more than women do, which says a lot. If you have a husband don’t bother applying, unless you hate him. Prancer has lived with a man for 6 months and still has not accepted him. He bonds to a woman/women, and takes his job of protection seriously. He offers better protection than capitol security. This also extends to other animals. Have other dogs? Cats? Don’t apply unless they like being shaken up like a ragdoll by a 13lb rage machine. This may be confusing to people, as he currently lives with my other 7 dogs and 12 cats. That’s because we have somewhat come to an agreement that it’s wrong to attack the other animals. But you know that episode of The Office where Michael Scott silently whispers “I’ll kill you.” to Toby? That’s Prancer having to begrudgingly coexist with everyone when I’m around. We also mentioned no kids for Prancer. I think at this point, you can imagine why. He’s never been in the presence of a child, but I can already imagine the demonic noises and shaking fury that would erupt from his body if he was. Prancer wants to be your only child. So what are his good traits? He is loyal beyond belief, although to tell you a secret his complex is really just a facade for his fear. If someone tried to kill you I can guarantee he would run away screeching. But as far as companionship, you will never be alone again. He likes to go for car rides, he is housebroken, he knows a few basic commands, he is quiet and non destructive when left alone at home, and even though we call him bologna face he is kind of cute to look at. He also “smiles” when he is excited. His ideal home would be with a single woman, a mother and daughter, or a lesbian couple. You can’t live in an apartment or a condo unless you want him to ankle bite your neighbors. We already addressed the men and children situation. If you have people over he would have to be put away like he’s a vacuum. I know finding someone who wants a chucky doll in a dogs body is hard, but I have to try. Prancer is available through Second Chance Pet Adoption League. He is in New Jersey but can be adopted anywhere in the general tri state area. If you’ve always wanted your own haunted Victorian child in the body of a small dog that hates men and children, please email [email protected] Oh, also he’s only 2yrs old and will probably live to be 21 through pure spite, so take that into account if you’re interested.

Second Chance Pet Adoption League

The good news is that Prancer has been adopted and now has his own Instagram account @prancerthechihuahua

Hat-tipping Devon for the pointer.