The University of Oregon has one of the best Track and Field programs in the country. Meanwhile, State University of Oregon has built the fastest running robot, clocking in a 100m dash in 24.73 seconds.

As the Russian draft ramps up, two Russian men escaped on a boat 300 miles across the Bering Straight to Alaska. Meanwhile, on his birthday, the Ukrainians sent Putin a gift.

The Verge normally covers technology but this week they had a long piece that detailed how human composting works at the world’s first such facility. In 30-days, each body is transformed into approximately 400-pounds of rich, fertile soil. The did mention that medical devices from the compost pile and recycled.

The Hans Niemann chess-cheating scandal finally “went there” as officials scanned the buttocks of the player for “wirelessly-controlled vibrating anal beads” which some say is his way of receiving his winning moves.

The sport fishing industry was also upended by a cheating scandal at the Lake Erie Walleye Trail tournament that disqualified two winners. “We got weights in fish,” Fischer shouted. The crowd lobbed insults at Runyan.

Finally, you must read The Onion’s 23-page Amicus Curiae brief filed with the Supreme Court in support of Anthony Novak, who created a parody Facebook page of his local police department. It’s a masterpiece. Some context.