Tequila was just the beginning, environmentally-conscious mafioso, and the little engine that was retired.

Regular readers will recall the kindergartener who popped open a bottle of tequila during snack time last month. The principal of the school has his hands full now after a 5th grader at the same school was caught this week sharing weed gummies with his classmate.

The Las Vegas mob has a new interest in climate control. Their motive is in order to keep nearby Lake Mead from drying up and revealing more bodies.

A Florida high school is withholding this year’s class yearbook because it contained photos from a protest against the “Don’t Say Gay” bill that the school is demanding be covered up in accordance with the new law. Local and national papers carried photos of the stricken pages so everyone can see what the fuss is all about.

An author who published an essay titled, I Plagiarized Parts of My Debut Novel. Here’s Why, had her essay pulled because, it too, was plagiarized.

A South Carolina man died of a cardiac arrest while digging a grave for a woman he strangled.

A Northeast Philadelphia Catholic school gave out Mother’s Day roses without realizing each rose had red thong lingerie tucked inside. “The situation represents an unfortunate mistake and we apologize deeply,” said officials from the Saint Anselm Parish School.

A Texas man is wanted for burglarizing a home but not before grabbing the lawn mower and giving the front and back lawns a trim.

The last commercial steam engine train in the world was taken out of regular service. The 2-8-2 locomotive has been hauling coal from a Chinese mine for the last 60 years.