The week that was


New York decided to change the rules of the state’s state gun buyback program after a man with a 3D printer netted $21,000 in gift cards.

An Oakland woman was rescued from trouble when she ran into a ramen restaurant to ask for for help. The staff, who were known to dress up as Power Rangers, leapt into action.

Astronomers around the world reported an “extraordinarily colossal boom” (not to be confused with that other boom) in the form of a gamma-ray burst from a star 2 billion light years away.

Liz Truss resigned and entered the history books as Britain’s shortest-serving Prime Minister, outlasted by even a head of lettuce. Anthony Scaramucci helpfully pointed out, the ex-PM lasted 4.1 Scaramuccis. Jonathan Pie had a few things to say.

After concluding that over 50% of New Zealand’s greenhouse gases come from “agricultural emissions” the government has decided to levy a tax on cow burps. Belches are a greater source of methane than cow farts (so says NASA). You really do learn something new every day.

The South Korean boy band BTS confirmed that each member will serve in their country’s mandatory military service.

Chinese censors deleted all references on social media to the words “Beijing” and “bridge” after protestors unfurled a banner on a bridge protesting Xi’s zero-tolerance Covid policy. Yesterday, the former president, Hu Jintao, was mysteriously escorted from his seat next to current president Xi Jinping the day before Xi was confirmed in his precedent-breaking third term as leader.

Kanye West filed a flurry of trademarks such “Yzyverse,” “Yxyverse” and “Yeezyverse” as part of his plan to launch an “Yecosystem” of Ye-branded shops, homes, and cities. If the design language is anything like his sneakers, jackets, and cars, Ye-world is bound to be soft and comfy.

Besides pissing off everyone by wearing a “White Lives Matter” shirt at a fashion show, Kanye West also made news by announcing he was buying Parler. The right wing social network was so excited that they sent out an email to inform their VIP users but forgot to use the BCC line.

An Australian YouTuber claimed a tax deduction for an expensive Team Fortress 2 weapon in what might be the first documented example of a tax write-off for a digital collectible.

A Washington court determined that a mother’s love has no monetary value.

Elon Musk is selling a perfume called Burnt Hair on his Boring Co website (where you can also buy a flame thrower). The Essence of Repugnant Desire sells for $100 and can also be purchased with Dogecoin.

Headline writers be dammed – a man actually bit a dog.


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