everwas

a blog by Ian Kennedy

Month: December 2022

  • TWTW in 2022

    TWTW in 2022

    Another year gone by, how time flies! I’m now into year five of my weekly round-ups after kicking things off in 2017. Forgive me for my indulgences. As is tradition, the last post for the year highlights the top stories that readers collectively clicked on from each of the 51 TWTW posts from this year.

    Everyone had to read this weird story about the Tyson Foods CFO who was arrested after being found asleep in stranger’s bed. That was in November. We read now that after coming clean but somehow escaping public intoxication and trespassing charges, he will remain CFO at his father’s company.

    The second most-popular link was this video of an unexpected touchdown win. Watch carefully, the losing team learns that the game is not over until that final whistle blows.

    Marjorie Taylor Greene mixing up Gestapo and Gazpacho was too precious for words. Then there was that time that W. Bush condemned Putin for invading Iraq.

    Anyone who watched Top Gun knew this was total bullshit but let it slide anyway when the Air Force claimed ‘no intent by the pilots’ to draw sky penis near Russian base in Syria.

    The Senate campaign in Pennsylvania was ugly and both candidates played all sorts of games but we all smiled when the Fetterman camp strategically called out his opponent Oz for being a Cowboys fan right outside the Linc.

    Sarah Palin caused quite a stir when she visited NYC and refused to follow the mask mandate. After her visit, the Mayor’s asked all New Yorkers to get a COVID test if they were anywhere near Palin.

    Early on in the year quite a few of you took interest in the little reported news of the first man who’s life was saved by a drone that dropped a defibrillator from the sky.

    Hard to believe but indicative of the growing wealth gap in America, yep, there are more AirBnB listings that rentals in NYC.

    If you didn’t read this story when it came out, you must read it now. The crazy story of how a women, fleeing an attacker, ran into a restaurant full of Power Rangers who jumped up to her rescue.

  • Funny thing about MetroNorth

    Funny thing about MetroNorth

    After catching an epic Phish concert at MSG on 12/29, I took the MetroNorth from Grand Central to meet my cousin to see Dark Star Orchestra at the famed Capitol Theater in Port Chester. I’ve never been to the Cap but have heard numerous tapes of legendary shows from this venue so I was looking forward to seeing it in person.

    The concert did not disappoint, the sound was amazing and the band played some of the songs even better than when I heard them played by the Grateful Dead. (DSO played a setlist from 12/27/78 from San Diego)

    Dark Star Orchestra at The Capitol Theater, December 30, 2022

    The Capitol Theater is just a block or two away from the Port Chester train station but, after 11pm, the train only comes once/hour so a bunch of us were keeping our eye on our watch just to make sure I got out in time to catch the 12:15am train.

    I stuck around to see what the encore would be and once I heard the open notes of US Blues, I figured it’s better to try and make the 12:15 rather than risk waiting around on a freezing platform for an hour so made my way outside and down to the station. Turns out I didn’t really miss the encore because you can hear it from the train platform!

    Anyway, there were about 20 people on the platform that did the same thing as I and were waiting for the 12:15 train. There was an electronic sign on the platform but it only listed the 1:15am train, no 12:15. Amidst much murmuring, I took out my phone to check the MTA TrainTime app to settle the debate.

    This is what I saw.

    We all couldn’t believe it so others downloaded the app to check for sure and debates started to break out, do you believe the sign on the platform, do you think the app is just flaky or is something else wrong? Groups formed into the believers and non-believers. Tempers flared a bit and one guy from Austria suggested that I stop refreshing the screen and turn off my phone when it shows a 12:15am train because, maybe my app had the power to summon the train itself.

    It came down to faith. Did you have faith in something you couldn’t see, classic epistemology, how do you know you know? One guy on the non-believer side was hedging his bets and noisily making alternative plans, asking his buddy with a car not to leave just in case the train didn’t show up. I joked with him for not believing and chastised him gently as a doubter and others joined me, “that’s right, you’re scaring the train away. . .” He gave us a look that said, “Yeah, whatever buddy, I don’t believe in that mumbo jumbo. I’m going to take care of me and my wife and get my ass home regardless.” He was firmly in the not believe category but when his wife leaned over to see if she could see the light of the train in the distance, he told her to get back away from the edge of the platform in case the train comes. “So you DO believe!” someone said and all of us had a laugh.

    The the train did show up. Right on schedule at 12:15am and we all hopped on to the warm train and we sank into our seats. I rolled into Grand Central about an hour later at 1:15am and popped out the side to walk up 43rd to my apartment but not before stopping by for a slice of pizza where the friendly proprietor wished me Happy New Year and gave me a cola at the “Happy New Year price”

    Satiated after two incredible nights of live music, I ambled home to a warm night’s slumber. Ready for a quiet New Year’s Eve, the way I like it.

  • Hunterisms

    Hunterisms

    In honor of tonight’s Dark Star Orchestra concert at the famous Capitol Theater in Port Chester, NY (which I’ll be visiting for the first time), here’s a list of Robert Hunter lyrics that I found in an old notebook.

    If you’ve listened to the Grateful Dead, you’ve heard these lines over and over again, embedded into their songs but taken out of context, can you guess which songs each of these lines are from?

    Comes a time when the blind man takes your hand, says “Don’t you see?”

    Without love in a dream, it will never come true.

    Sometimes the cards ain’t worth a dime if you don’t lay ’em down.

    Anyone who sings a tune so sweet, is passing by.

    The trouble with you is the trouble with me

    Must be getting early, clocks are running late

    Honest to the point of recklessness

    Thinking a lot about less and less

    You can’t close the door when the walls caved in

    Small wheel turning by the fire and rod, big wheel turning by the grace of God

    The grass ain’t greener, the wine ain’t sweeter, either side of the hill

    Once in a while you can get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.

    If all you have to live for, is what you left behind, get yourself a powder charge and seal that silver mine

  • New Yorkers Stick Together

    New Yorkers Stick Together

    New Yorkers face all sorts of hassles that come with living in the big city. Whether it’s the daily breakdown of the subway or a parade blocking your crosstown taxi, these is always some minor inconvenience that comes with living in a vibrant city. The day-in-and-day-out of millions of people rubbing shoulders, fulfilling their dreams is bound to result in some rough edges from time to time. We all know it happens, it’s a fact of life, we just roll with it and keep on, keeping on.

    But an injustice that New Yorkers will not tolerate is when a corporate or political bureaucracy picks on the individual. New Yorkers are quick to smell bullshit and will unify and rise up if they sense injustice thrown down from above. An attack on one is an attack on all.

    This played itself out during the recent holiday travel disaster that played out in airports across the country with Southwest Airlines cancelling over 2,500 flights in a single day. When flights get cancelled, airlines need volunteers to give up their seats on overbooked flights. Usually the airlines can get people to give up their spot but in NYC, the people collectively came together to resist.

    99% of the time the chaos breaks people at the airport. 1% of the time the chaos creates an impromptu game show.

    At JFK. Guy behind the counter asks for a volunteer to give up a seat for $500. Nothing. “$550.” The crowd suddenly coalesces to shout “HIGHER!” like it was a game show. “$750” “HIGHER! “800!” “NOT IN NEW YORK! GO HIGHER!” They applauded the elderly woman who took it at $1100.

    I love New York City because it’s a place where a diverse group of people of different ages, beliefs, backgrounds, and experiences can come together as one if it means fucking with somebody else making them wait in line.

    @Mike Drucker

    Don’t mess with a New Yorker.

  • When the New Jersey Nets came to Tokyo

    When the New Jersey Nets came to Tokyo

    Going through some old boxes during the holidays I came across this old press pass which has a funny story behind it which I’ll share for posterity.

    In 1996, the then New Jersey Nets came to Tokyo to play against the Orlando Magic. The NBA was reaching to Japan to expand awareness of the sport and this was the fourth time two NBA teams traveled to Japan to play a regular season game in front of a Japanese crowd. Shaq had recently decamped for the Los Angeles Lakers but the Magic was still the team to watch with Penny Hardaway as the man to watch.

    My friend Kimiaki Tanaka was a reporter for China Television and called me in the morning to ask if I wanted to join her at the game and tag along as her “cameraman.” I didn’t have a proper camera beyond a small Olympus Mju so there I was, down under the basket, at the Tokyo Dome, with all the other international press and their 400 mm zoom lenses.

    Here are a couple of photos from that I found from that roll of film. I don’t think I’ll ever get that close to a professional game again.

    Flash forward 26 years and my son Tyler is working at what is now the Brooklyn Nets and seeing many games (one of the benefits in working for the team). He did make it courtside recently and caught these photos of, you guessed it, the Nets going up against the Magic.

    These are just screenshots. It’s 2022 so we have video!

  • The week that was

    The week that was

    Congressman-elect George Santos of Long Island helped Republicans clinch a narrow majority in the House and was put forth as the “full embodiment of the American dream.” Turns out vast swaths of his resume were made up. His office issued an apology and closed with a quote attributed to Winston Churchill, which was incorrect.

    Russia announced it will deploy musicians and singers to the front lines of the war to boost troops’ morale. The “front-line creative brigade” would also include circus performers.

    Remember the original financial bubble? Coming full circle, a Dutch engineer is using the heat from cryptocurrency-mining rigs to warm his tulip warehouse. Sourcing power from solar panels, the project is actually carbon negative. Oh, and you can also buy tulips from him with bitcoin at Bitcoin Bloem.

    Police broke into a gallery in London to help an ‘unconscious woman’ only to discover a £18,000 art installation. “The work is to provoke and it’s definitely achieving that,” said the galley shop owner.

    Police in Kentucky responded to a call about “a male standing outside with a robe covering part of his body and exposing himself with a hose between his legs.” What they found was a Christmas lawn display depicting Cousin Eddie from “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.”

    A Twitter mob did good for once and convinced the owners of Don Quixote, a Japanese discount chain, to save the cute, blue penguin mascot, Donpen, from getting replaced.

  • The week that was

    The week that was

    The man who purchased Twitter for $44 billion to make it a platform for free speech, banned several journalists from said platform.

    A man dressed like a Christmas tree slashed the tires of 21 vehicles belonging to a meat warehouse at a village in northwest Poland.

    Police are investigating the suspected domestic terrorist attack which took out power in North Carolina. Meanwhile, authorities have located the culprit of a large scale power outage in Florida, an iguana.

    Donald Trump licensed his name to an NFT trading card company which sold out a limited edition run and raised over $5 million. I’m not sure how long the website shilling the cards will be around but I recommend you experience it in all its over-the-top glory.

    Construction workers working on the roof at the Virginia fire station knocked on the door of the station to tell fire fighters there their fire station, was on fire.

    Timothy Ronoh, the official pacemaker for elite runners at the Abu Dhabi Marathon, found himself alone at the 35km mark so he pressed on and won the race.

    A teenager is riding his unicycle from Maine to Key West (he’s now in North Carolina) to raise money for a bike path.

    The largest freestanding cylindrical aquarium in the world, centerpiece of the Radisson Hotel in Berlin, burst in the early morning hours. The 10-story tank spilled 1 million liters of salt water and 1,500 tropical fish into the lobby, through the doors and into the street in front of the hotel.

    Argentina beat France in penalty kicks and Messi finally hoisted the trophy after winning the World Cup final, as predicted by two giant pandas.

  • ChatGPT Fun

    ChatGPT Fun

    I went to today’s State of the Word presentation in person (woohoo, so nice to attend in-person events once again!) and one question was about the dreaded “build-to-launch gap” where you build a website for a client and then it takes them months to post anything into the beautiful container you built for them.

    There was some suggestion of using ChatGPT to automatically generate content to fill the gaps. While it’s debatable that a boring prompt will lead to boring text, there is some use in using tools such as ChatGTP to automatically write website copy, the output of prompt with just a little bit of flair can be quite inspirations.

    While sitting there listening to the question and answer, I fired up ChatGPT and had the AI write something before my eyes. I unfortunately have only a screenshot of the first attempt which I showed to the amazement of the person sitting next to me as we saw the thing get typed up in real time.

    Just to try and re-create the scene so you could see how quickly it worked, I did it two more times. The first time it changed gears with the same prompt and wrote a sonnet about why you need to change your oil.

    The Prompt: Write a blog post about how important it is to change your oil every 3000 miles in the style of William Shakespeare

    Lend me your ears, fair readers, for I come bearing news of utmost importance. ‘Tis a tale of lubrication and maintenance, of the crucial role played by a humble substance in the wellbeing of your trusty steed.

    I speak, of course, of oil – that most vital of fluids, without which the inner workings of your car would grind to a halt and your journeys would come to a swift and unfortunate end. And yet, despite its importance, it is a substance too often ignored and neglected.

    Forsooth, I implore you – do not make the mistake of believing that oil needs changing only when your car begins to show signs of distress. Nay, ’tis a task that must be performed regularly, with the utmost diligence and care. The recommended interval, you ask? Why, every 3000 miles, without fail.

    Some may claim that this is an unnecessary expense, or that modern cars require less frequent oil changes. But I say unto you – the cost of a simple oil change pales in comparison to the expense of repairing the damage caused by neglecting this vital task.

    Think of it thus: the oil in your car is like the lifeblood that courses through the veins of a living being. It keeps all of the moving parts functioning smoothly, preventing friction and wear. Over time, however, this oil becomes contaminated and degraded, losing its ability to do its job effectively.

    When this happens, the various components of your car are left to fend for themselves, rubbing and grinding against one another with no protective barrier. The result? Reduced performance, decreased fuel efficiency, and a heightened risk of costly and inconvenient breakdowns.

    But fear not, dear reader, for all is not lost. By changing your oil every 3000 miles, you can ensure that your car is always running at its best. It may seem like a small and insignificant task, but trust me when I say that it can make all the difference.

    So take heed, and do not neglect this most essential of maintenance tasks. Your car will thank you, and you can rest easy knowing that you have done all that you can to keep it running smoothly.

    Related: I live-blogged this year’s State of the Word on my old tumblr account just for giggles

  • The week that was

    The week that was

    A Florida man chose the wrong day to shoplift from Walmart. The St. Cloud store was filled with police as part of the annual Shop with a Cop event for community children. The sheriff’s office called the attempted stealing a “bad idea.”

    The story of the cat found in a bag at New York’s JFK Airport’s TSA x-ray checkpoint didn’t make the cut last week but now that they’ve found a dog in a bag at a Wisconsin airport this seems like something we need to keep an eye on.

    As the new congressional class moves to Washington DC to look for housing, the incoming 25-year old Florida Democrat, Maxwell Frost, found his credit score (ruined because of the debt he took on to run his campaign) was too low to secure a place to live.

    People are flocking to see the lava flow from Mauna Loa in Maui. A local mayor pleaded with tourists to be respectful of the volcano, considered a female deity, and stop throwing marshmallows into the lava.

    In an unfortunate sequence of events, Billboard Magazine awarded Kanye West Top Gospel Artist of the Year the same week he was also awarded Antisemite of the Year by the watchdog group StopAntisemitism.

    Tens of thousands of fans looking for an illegal stream of the World Cup games were duped into watching a blurry representation of the game played on the FIFA 23 video game.

    The Rockdale County Sheriff’s Office in Georgia posted on Facebook a list of their most wanted fugitives. Christopher Spaulding, who did not make the list, commented on the post, asking why he did not make the list. Police corrected their oversight and promptly sent someone to arrest Mr. Spaulding.