President Joe Biden celebrated his 80th birthday. Speaker Nancy Pelosi, 82, announced she would step down from her leadership role and Senator Chuck Grassley, 89, filed to run for reelection in 2028.

The organizers of the 2022 World Cup in Qatar banned the sale of alcohol inside the stadiums just days before the first game. After initially tweeting, “Well, this is awkward” Budweiser, the primary drinks sponsor, pivoted to announce that it would award all the beer it shipped to the tournament to the winning country.

After losing his reelection to the presidency of Brazil last month, Jair Bolsonaro has not been seen in public. We finally found out why. He has a skin infection that prevents him from wearing pants.

People in Woburn, Massachusetts have been subject to a barrage of attacks and intimidation by five wild turkeys, forcing some to take up improvised weapons and residents reporting being trapped in their homes. The leader of the gaggle (sounds too friendly), the flock (sounds too docile), the rafter (too esoteric) the pack (yeah, that’s it) is named Kevin (not exactly terrifying).

The Belgium customs agency has been doing such a bang up job seizing cocaine at its ports that the government has run out of incinerator capacity to destroy the drugs.

A 68-year old suspect using a walker to get around robbed a Fresno, California bank of $200. He did not get far.

During an Indiana high school law enforcement training class the instructor confused his training weapon for a loaded firearm and shot one of his students. After putting the school on lockdown (as is customary when shots are fired on campus) police arrived to investigate and take care of the student who is, thankfully, recovering from non-serious wounds and probably re-thinking their future career in law enforcement.

What’s happening on Twitter you say? Welp, Kyle Rittenhouse is selling a video game called Turkey Shoot where you battle the Fake News.

The water source for a community of homes in the foothills outside of Scottsdale, Arizona is due to run dry by the end of the year.

An event in England designed so that members of the public will be able to find out how to “keep their homes and properties as safe as possible from flooding and what to do in the case of a flood” was cancelled due to rain.

Ye announced his candidacy for the 2024 presidential election and asked Donald Trump to be his running mate.

Jeff Bezos, founder and former CEO of Amazon, announced that he plans to give away most of his fortune. Sam Bankman-Fried, the founder and former CEO of the cryptocurrency exchange FTX, lost 94 percent of his net worth in a single day. If you need a refresher on what happened at FTX, this 90-second Tik-Tok is all you need.

Steve Jobs’ worn out Birkenstock sandals sold for $218,000 at an auction.

The head of Amazon’s hardware division, Mr. Limp, announced business was softening so there would be layoffs.

San Francisco opened up its long awaited Central Subway line that will take you from the 4th Street CalTrain terminal straight up to the Moscone Center, Market Street and all the way into Chinatown. The project kicked off in 2010 and was four years behind schedule.

The global population ticked over to 8 billion souls this past week. The last billion were born in the last eleven years, the same time it took to build SF’s Central Subway line.

Tens of thousands of weasels were liberated from a fur farm in Ohio.

Researchers at the University of Tokyo discovered that when you play Lady Gaga, lab rats will bop their heads to the beat with an “innate ability to groove.”

Meta mothballed its large-scale AI model after just three days in the wild as it had trouble distinguishing between fact and fiction. Galactica was trained on 48 million scientific papers and was supposed to “summarize academic papers, solve math problems, generate Wiki articles, write scientific code, annotate molecules and proteins, and more.” Instead it was used to write convincingly about Space Bears and other “hallucinations.”

Yesterday was the 40th anniversary of The Play which put the UC Berkeley Bears over their rival Stanford in what was “The most amazing, sensational, dramatic, heartrending, exciting, thrilling finish in the history of college football.” More on the backstory of Joe Starkey’s famous narration and, yes, Cal beat Stanford yesterday as well in the 125th playing of The Big Game.

George Booth, who contributed cartoons to The New Yorker for more than five decades, died last week at age 96.

Democrat Anthony “Tony” DeLuca was re-elected to another term as Pennsylvania state representative. He passed away on October 9th.

The 114-year old Japanese candy company that made サクマドロップス went out of business.

Things got really confusing on Twitter when Elon Musk allowed anyone with $8 to purchase a blue checkmark that historically verified an account as authentic. Hundreds of users immediately verified themselves as Elon Musk to which the actual @elonmusk responded “This is actually me.”

AMC is pivoting to enterprise sales and partnering with Zoom to host large corporate zoom calls in their mostly empty movie theaters. Popcorn for your next company all hands will be available for an additional charge.

Somebody behind the KFC Germany mobile app confused the holiday list with memorial day list and accidentally sent out a promotion to commemorate Kristallnacht.

Philadelphia’s baseball team lost the World Series to Houston (perhaps averting economic doom) and their soccer team lost the MLS Cup to Los Angeles. The city took consolation and rallied behind Alexander Tominsky’s record breaking consumption of an entire rotisserie chicken for the 40th consecutive day.

The Tyson Foods’ CFO was arrested after being found asleep in a stranger’s bed. Officers found Tyson asleep in the bedroom and his clothes on the floor.

The Stanford University mascot, The Tree, was suspended for the rest of the season for unfurling a “Stanford hates fun” banner at a recent football game halftime show.

In other Stanford news, a man was caught impersonating a Stanford student and living in a dorm basement for weeks.

Shanghai Disney went into lockdown when ten visitors tested positive for Covid. Due to China’s zero tolerance policy, everyone was required to stay inside the “Happiest Place on Earth” until they could provide three negative tests. Luckily, all the rides remain open.

Rolex announced a new watch made out of titanium that is rated to 11,000 meters (36,090 feet).

U.S. officials say that the KC-135’s aircrew did not mean to fly in a pattern that resembled the male anatomy in the skies off the coast near a Russian base in Syria. 🙄