People stealing packages left on front porches is such a big problem that one man has gone into business selling booby trap devices that set off a small explosive to deter would be thieves. Others have resorted to more creative solutions.
A California couple were pulled over in Nebraska on their way to Vermont. Patrick Jiron, 80, and Barbara Jiron, 83 were subsequently arrested when 60 pounds of high grade marijuana were found in the back of their Toyota Tacoma. The couple claimed they were bringing Christmas gifts.
In January, recreational pot will be legal in California. Fast food chain Jack in the Box is already prepping for the influx of stoners with a new Merry Munchie Meal which they will test market at the price of $4.20.
Every material scientist’s favorite wonder compound, graphene, will be used to make the first running and fitness shoe. 200 times stronger than steel, the one-atom thick material will, “deliver a combination of traction, stretch and durability never seen before in sports footwear. 2018 will be the year of the world’s toughest grip.”
When tone-deaf Silicon Valley faced a shortage of women at their year-end parties, they hired models to stand in and balance the mix. Los Angeles, facing a shortage of hardcore football fans for the LA Rams, put out a casting call for stand-in fans.
“One whiff and you’re stiff” says a local who lives in Ireland, near the factory that makes the drug Viagra and claims the fumes from the plant give him a unique contract high.
In Tokyo, the police are tracking down a monkey who has eluded capture since mid-October and has now made its way North from Yokohama into Tokyo.
A UN official who tours the globe investigating extreme poverty said that areas of Alabama are suffering the most dire sewage disposal crisis of any place he has visited in a developed country. This week they at least got rid of some of it.
An anonymous person dropped a single gold Krugerrand worth about $1,200 in a Salvation Army kettle in South Carolina.
A longtime SoMa communal gathering spot, San Francisco’s cafe-laundry institution Brainwash has closed permanently. Meanwhile, another SF institution, the Elbo Room in the Mission is testing new waters with an East Bay branch in Oakland.
Meanwhile, the Voyager team dusted off the thruster controls to spacecraft now 21 billion kilometers away. After waiting 20 hours for the instructions to get there and waiting another 20 hours for the response, the damn thing worked!
Finally, Mike Hughes’ rocket launch into the “atmosflat” where he planned to take photographs to prove the earth is flat and “expose the conspiracy” has been delayed until next week.