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TWTW

The week that was

Akamai’s Denial-of-Service software inadvertently denied service to major banks and airlines in Australia.

A Chinese construction company built a 10-story apartment building, complete with all electrical, lighting, water supply, and drainage in 28 hours and 45 minutes.

At the G7 summit, US president Joe Biden gifted UK prime minister Boris Johnson a $6,000 custom bicycle handcrafted by Philadelphia-based Bilenky Cycle Works adorned with hand-painted US/UK flags. The Johnson gifted Biden a photo of a Frederick Douglass mural printed out from Wikipedia.

British authorities have impounded a massive replica of Noah’s Ark which they found unseaworthy.

Cristiano Ronaldo shifted two bottles of Coca-Cola which were strategically placed in view while the soccer superstar gave a press conference. Shares of the soft-drink company cratered, wiping nearly $4 billion off the company’s market value.

As is custom, visiting athletes at Japan’s Olympic village will have access to 160,000 condoms but are being told to heed Covid protocols and “avoid unnecessary forms of physical contact”.

Doctors have invented a device that cures hiccups.

TWTW is a weekly collection of bits and pieces I run across each week while looking after things at SmartNews. Feel free to sign-up to get this via email or forward to a friend.

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The week that was

The fact-checkers at Snopes spent 90-minutes trying to figure out if former President Trump was wearing his trousers backwards.

Concerned about climate change, a Texas congressman asked the National Forest Service if they could do anything, “to change the course of the moon’s orbit or the Earth’s orbit around the sun.”

Arizona’s Department of Corrections is prepping to restart its gas chamber on death row and plan to use hydrogen cyanide, also known as Zyklon B, the gas used by the Nazis. Google’s head of diversity was fired over an anti-Semitic blog post.

National Geographic officially recognized a fifth ocean adding the Southern Ocean to all its maps. The people at 4ocean.com are pissed.

Following his ban from Facebook and Twitter, the former president started a blog, From the Desk of Donald J. Trump. Last week he shut it down due to lack of interest.

Cicadas were so thick in the air that they were showing up weather radar. They also got into the engines of the White House press corps plane, delaying their departure to Europe until 2am. Isn’t there something in the Bible about this?

Engineers at MIT have discovered a new way to generate electricity.

A South African woman gave birth to ten babies joining her six-year old twins. Guinness World Records is heading to Pretoria to verify but there’s drama around the marital status of the father.

A lobster diver, plucking crustaceans off the ocean floor near Cape Code, was swallowed whole by a whale and spat back up to tell the tale.

TWTW is a weekly collection of bits and pieces I run across each week while looking after things at SmartNews. Feel free to sign-up to get this via email, follow on Facebook, or forward to a friend.

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TWTW

The week that was

A UN report stated that a drone aircraft autonomously attacked humans for the first time ever in Libya last year. Closer to home, a candidate for mayor in Albuquerque, had his speech interrupted (griefed?) by a drone-carrying a dildo.

In a reversal of last week’s policy that brought us the ConocoPhillips “chillers” used to firm up the melting tundra, the Biden administration will freeze oil leases in the Alaska Arctic National Wildlife Refuge pending further environmental review.

Someone discovered, tucked away in the royal decree of laws governing Belgium, specifically, Book V of the Code of Economic Law, paragraph nine of the French translation of article 13 of the section on pricing for drugs and medical devices, a recipe for asparagus gratin.

The Barron County sheriff’s office is thanking the Bovine Unit for shuffling into action and blocking a suspect in their car during a 13-mile chase.

Something any Japanese onsen fan could have told you, a Coventry University study found that a good long soak in piping hot water has some of the same health benefits as vigorous exercise.

A hat store in Nashville started selling yellow “not vaccinated” Star of David patches and were promptly cut off from Stetson, Kangol, and several other milliners. A Tennessee woman was arrested for driving her SUV at a high rate of speed through a drive-in vaccination facility yelling “no vaccine” and nearly hitting some workers.

A parking spot in Hong Kong sold for the equivalent of $1.3M breaking the record also set in Hong Kong.

TWTW is a weekly collection of bits and pieces I run across each week while looking after things at SmartNews. Feel free to sign-up to get this via email or forward to a friend.

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The week that was

Climate change is moving vampire bats north to Florida. In California, Pacific lampreys, also known as “vampire fish,” are returning to rivers where they have not been seen for 40 years.

UK police nabbed a drug dealer because of his love of Stilton cheese.

Lawmakers in Texas passed a bill to allow people to carry handguns without a license. The governor signed into law a ban on abortions as early as six weeks, and another law that prevents Texas cities, counties, and public schools from asking people to wear a mask.

After their smash debut at the Los Angeles Public Library, the Linda Lindas signed a record deal.

To drill for oil under the tundra of Alaska, ConocoPhillips will install “chillers” into the permafrost (which is melting because of climate change) to keep it solid enough to support the equipment to drill for oil, the burning of which will continue to worsen ice melt.

It is now cool to wear socks with your sandals in a non-ironic way.

“The one high-stakes moment where they fucked up in a minor way that escalated into a really big deal,” is the summation of how a stripped wheel nut scuttled the Mercedes-AMG F1 team at the Monaco Grand Prix.

A mother died in motorcycle crash during memorial ride for her son who also died in a motorcycle crash.

A survey of over 5,000 people from across America found that 15% believe that the government, media, and financial worlds in the U.S. are controlled by a group of Satan-worshipping pedophiles who run a global child sex trafficking operation.

My old hometown, Alameda, made the news as hundreds lined up to find out what death smells like.

TWTW is a weekly collection of bits and pieces I run across each week while looking after things at SmartNews. Feel free to sign-up to get this via email, follow on Facebook, or forward to a friend.

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The week that was

A piece of Antarctica the size of Rhode Island broke off and created the world’s largest iceberg.

Five counties in eastern Oregon voted to secede the state and become part of Idaho.

The first case of Covid was detected at Everest base camp in April. This week it is estimated that there are more than 100 cases with reports of people coughing in their tents.

An online lending platform called Kabbage was found to have sent pandemic Paycheck Protection Program checks to hundreds of fraudulent businesses with names such as Deely Nuts and Tomato Cramber.

The US Treasury is sending people in Japan $1400 stimulus checks, causing much confusion. A 79-year-old man from Kamakura, who last worked in the United States in 1978, called the US embassy and asked what he should do.

Krispy Kreme is giving anyone who shows their vaccination card a free doughnut. Since then, a 45-year old comic book artist from New Jersey has made the daily trek to get his free honey glaze, almost every day and intends to keep going until the end of the year.

A group of African green monkeys that have been living near an airport in Florida were determined to be decedents of a troop of monkeys that escaped from a zoo in 1948.

Occupants of a skyscraper in Shenzhen were asked to stay away while authorities figure out what is making it shake. There is talk of putting a spoiler on the roof to help it ride out the wind more smoothly.

Kim Jong-un, the leader of North Korea, banned skinny or ripped jeans which he deemed “decadent.” He also prohibited all “non-socialist” hairstyles as part of an on-going campaign to block the yellow wind of capitalism.

TWTW is a weekly collection of bits and pieces I run across each week while looking after things at SmartNews. Feel free to sign-up to get this via email, follow on Facebook, or forward to a friend.

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The week that was

While the cryptocurrency Dogecoin spiked to new highs we learned its co-creator sold off all his holdings in 2015 so he could pay his rent.

Buzzfeed found Joe Biden’s Venmo account.

Trump supporters are recounting ballots in Arizona, again, in order to prove the election was rigged. This time they are looking for traces of bamboo.

A Tibetan sherpa scaled Everest for a record 25th time.

Remember the birds from last week? Now it’s condors and they will not leave.

Colombian cocaine traffickers, tired of getting ripped off by their Texas lawyer, filed charges and hauled him before a federal judge.

It took a review of security cam footage to find the person who bought the $26 million lottery ticket but when asked for it, the winner realized she sent it through the wash.

A cat in Chicago took a flying leap from a fifth floor window to escape an apartment fire and casually walked away and somebody got it on video.

The United Kingdom has passed a law that declares animals as sentient beings.

TWTW is a weekly collection of bits and pieces I run across each week while looking after things at SmartNews. Feel free to sign-up to get this via email, follow on Facebook, or forward to a friend.

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The week that was

Hundreds of migrating birds had to be freed from a chimney of a home in Santa Barbara. Not having learned their lesson, the next day they apparently flew down another chimney in Los Angeles.

A man’s bathroom break was extended longer than he bargained for when high winds knocked a tree over on to the porta potty he occupied, pinning him inside. The local fire department had to free him with chainsaws and a Sawzall.

Record-sized hailstones fell on Texas.

The booster stage of a Chinese rocket is due to plummet from the heavens sometime tonight. The size of this randomly falling space junk is 20 tons, breaking last year’s record of 18 tons.

The world’s longest pedestrian suspension bridge opened in Portugal.

The government of the Maldives, tired of asking the rest of the world to help reverse climate change, announced that they will build a floating city.

A Japanese town blew its Covid relief funds on a giant statue of a squid.

A Canadian town erupted in a sign war as local businesses competed to outwit each other.

Verizon sold off Yahoo and Aol and we learned that there are 1.5 million people still paying their Aol monthly subscription fees.

A man decided to throw “good luck coins” into the jet engine of a plane he was boarding and grounded the flight for all passengers and had to pay a steep fine for the trouble he caused.

A Belgian farmer, annoyed with a stone marker that was blocking his tractor, moved it out of the way and unwittingly re-drew the border between France and Belgium.

Remember those bottles of wine that spent a year in space? One will be auctioned off to raise money for research. Wine connoisseurs have tasted one of the other bottles sent up and said the taste was, “hard to describe.”

TWTW is a weekly collection of bits and pieces I run across each week while looking after things at SmartNews. Feel free to sign-up to get this via email, follow on Facebook, or forward to a friend.

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The week that was

Judges in the UK reversed a decades-old decision by an errant (and some would say malicious) computer accounting system that convicted 39 former UK postmasters of theft, fraud and false accounting.

In India someone stole a bag that they found contained thousands of doses of the Covid vaccine. The bag was returned anonymously with an apologetic note.

Thieves of a Big Bird costume in Australia were not so lucky. Despite returning it after a night of mischief, charges will be pressed.

The internet went out for 900 customers in a small town in Canada. Beavers were to blame.

An eagle-eyed Argentinian renewed google.com.ar for a couple of bucks and briefly owned all of Google’s traffic in that country.

The subject of the Disaster Girl meme has taken back control of her image by selling the photo as an NFT.

Sean Culkin of the Kansas City Chief’s is the first NFL player to get paid in Bitcoin.

Citizen Kane was knocked off its 100% perch on top of the Rotten Tomatoes leaderboard, replaced by . . . Paddington 2. In celebration or perhaps an homage, a Reddit user is photoshopping Paddington into a movie still “every day until I forget.”

The headline of the week award goes to CTV with Boulders block Boulder Canyon road near Boulder, Colorado, Boulder County Sheriff’s Office says

A pair of Yeezy sneakers worn by Kanye West at the Grammys were sold for $1.8 million.

There is a good chance that the former Flint, Michigan Police Academy building will be used to grow marijuana.

An Australian farmer had to destroy his entire crop of hemp because cooler than expected temperatures raised the levels of THC beyond the legal limit. He should just ship the crop to Flint.

Oh, and Prancer found a home.

TWTW is a weekly collection of bits and pieces I run across each week while looking after things at SmartNews. Feel free to sign-up to get this via email, follow on Facebook, or forward to a friend.

Hat-tips to Devon, Jane and Roberto.

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The week that was

Covid-19 was discovered at Everest base camp when a member of an expedition tested positive for the disease.

Vaccines are available in New York City for anyone that wants them, no appointment necessary. On 4/20, marijuana activists with Joints for Jabs gave out free joints to anyone that showed them their vaccination card.

In Maine, where recreational marijuana is ok but delivery is not, an enterprising startup is offering to help “find” your lost stash for a “finders fee.”

There is a boba tea shortage in San Francisco.

People are using $5 ladders to go up and over Trump’s $27 million/mile border wall.

Japanese police have hauled in a 39-year-old Osaka man who is suspected of lying about his birthday to more than 30 different girlfriends in order to receive their gifts.

A man dressed in a cute bear suit with an over-sized head is walking from Los Angeles to San Francisco. The trip has taking longer than anticipated but he said he is not in a huge rush.

TWTW is a weekly collection of bits and pieces I run across each week while looking after things at SmartNews. Feel free to sign-up to get this via email, follow on Facebook, or forward to a friend.

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The week that was

Carbon dioxide in the atmosphere reached the highest level in 3.6 million years and Scientific American editors made the decision to call it what it is, a climate emergency. Some scientists recommend leaning in the trend with something called “stratospheric aerosol intervention” to block the sun to cool down the planet.

Eleven Madison Park, a three-star Michelin restaurant where New Yorkers normally pay $300+ for a meal, will serve high-quality, basic meals to those in need out of the back of a subtly-marked truck that will visit the “culinary-deprived neighborhoods.”

“Everything Trump has done since he’s been in office has been really shady and all backwards and messed up,” said one of the co-plaintiffs in a $1 trillion class action lawsuit brought by a self-educated ex-convict against the former president for the deaths of 570,000 Americans from Covid.

On the bright side, you can now watch an animated counter that totals the number of vaccinations given over on covidvax.live.

Dominos will start delivering pizza in Houston by autonomous robots. Driverless buses are shuttling people around Tennessee.

Darius, the world’s longest rabbit, is missing from his home in Worcestershire. Twitter erupted with suggestions to ask Alice.

A flight from the UK to Majorca was dangerously under-fueled when a programming error allocated everyone with the title “Miss” the average child’s weight instead of that of an adult.

More NFT shenanigans as the market cap for Dogecoin, a cryptocurrency founded as a joke, soared to $51 billion. The New York Stock Exchange started selling their own NFTs and an artist sold a single, grey pixel for $1.36 million dollars.

If you’re looking for fungible assets, there is a deli in New Jersey worth $100 million.

Citizens in the Polish city of Krakow were trapped, afraid to go outside because of an unknown animal that lurked in a tree. Animal welfare was called and discovered . . . a croissant.

TWTW is a weekly collection of bits and pieces I run across each week while looking after things at SmartNews. Feel free to sign-up to get this via email, follow on Facebook, or forward to a friend.